The Wolves Descend
by Amber1990
Summary: Forced back to Forks after finding out Renee isn't her real mother, Bella can only find one thing to live for. Pretty Boy. Except, how is she going to continue her infatuation while stuck at school in the Rez avoiding one night stand Jacob? AU Bella POV
1. Prologue

**A/N:**

**Dedicated to Jezzeria. Thanks for all your help so far, and I hope all that is to come. If you're thinking 'who the hell is this chick?' then you should check out her fanfics. All of them. Especially 'The Road To Forgiveness'.**

**Hope you like this one :) **

_I do not own any of the below mentioned characters, they all are property of Stephenie Meyer._

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_Bella POV_

I was messed up. The screw up. The bastard kid. My family had a sordid history, but not one I can be bothered to tell right now. It may only go back to my father, but the whole thing is pretty fucked. Would take too long to even get started.

The basic gist? Sure, I can give you that. My dad, Charlie, had an affair with a married woman. I'd say she was 'mom', but really she's only Sue Clearwater. The woman means nothing to me, just a freaking egg donor.

After barely giving birth to her first baby, my half-sister Leah, and she runs to my father. She has me. Then comes to realise that dear old Charlie isn't good enough for her and goes back to her husband Harry. They have another child, my little half-brother Seth.

I mean, what a hoare, right? And I don't even care if she's my mother, it's true. It is the only truth I have to cling onto right now.

Then Charlie, thinking he couldn't bring me up on his own, sends me away. I bet you're thinking 'Christ, that bitch is barely out of the womb and already she's fucked up'. Well, you wouldn't be far wrong. And I haven't even gotten to the best part.

For years I was told that the woman bringing me up was my mother. The oddball known as Renee. She dropped her last name, thinking she was some hot shit like Cher or something.

We traveled a lot when I was younger. Renee never seemed to want to spend too much time in one place. It's almost as if she couldn't keep still, and she was supposed to be the bloody parent. Though I gave up on that imaginary perfect family unit when I was around ten. Someone had to take charge.

The way it always worked was that it would be me left saying 'I told you so' when a harebrained scheme backfired on my way too naive 'mother'. Not that these moments weren't enjoyable. I fucking loved being right.

For a while, towards the end, we had quite a good thing going in Phoenix. Arizona was a bit hot for my liking, but we had a comfortable house and not all the guys at my high school were prize jerks.

Anyway, one day Renee decides she's had enough. She 'can't go on living a lie'. Apparently. My father's sweetheart from high school and supposed best friend had given up on the ruse. Story of my life. People giving up. But, whatever. I mean, I should've guessed she wasn't my mother. I had darker skin than both her and Charlie combined. A milky russet, or so I've been told.

And now I'm back in this shit hole. The dump Renee only insisted I visit once a year. I've got a whole new history, a whole different mother, and a lot of fucking lies to come to terms with. Though, I've been told, all the discarded and unwanted crap ends up in Forks... I should fit right in.


	2. Second Home

**A/N:**

**Just so you know, this gets lemony guys. Hope you enjoy :P Gets you ready for what's to come, doesn't it?**

**At least you know it won't get boring... I promise.**

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Chapter One

_Bella POV_

Would this shit day ever end? Christ. I had thought that the five hour plane ride from Phoenix, Arizona sitting next the the fattest, smelliest guy I had ever met would be the worst part of my day. Though apparently I had been wrong.

Now Charlie was dragging me to see that godforsaken woman. My fucking mother. How dare she even ask me to call her that? She had called Charlie's house not so long ago. Asking if I had arrived. I don't even see why she bothered to pretend. I mean, she didn't give a shit when I was a baby... what was so different now? I guess, because I could pretty much look after myself, now she wanted a relationship. Well, fuck that.

She had asked Charlie to bring me around. Meet the family. Now, there is a limit to the torture each person can endure... and I swear I was reaching my threshold.

So, of course, I was being forced to go. I really didn't see the point. I mean, I had met the Clearwaters before. Every time Renee had forced me to visit Charlie, in fact. I suppose I had never met them as my family, but I couldn't give a damn. There wasn't enough energy in my whole body to care even a little bit about any of them. Except maybe Harry. Sue's long suffering husband. Fuck knows how he put up with her and all her dramas.

Sitting in the car with Charlie was the most awkward scenario that anyone can imagine. People think we look uncomfortable with one another, and they would be right. We'd never really gotten on. And now the whole town knew about me, the bastard, our relationship had gone from bad to worse. He was one of those private guys who hated it if he fucking sneezed in public. So, this whole affair thing was killing him. And I loved it.

Inside, I smiled. I daren't on the outside. I didn't want Charlie to get the wrong impression that I was smiling at him, otherwise he might try to strike up a conversation. I wouldn't be able to control my anger if he spoke even a syllable to me. I felt a little growl reverberate up my throat, but suppressed it with a cough.

The car stopped. I hadn't even realised we were there. I guess I must have been daydreaming again. I always do that when I wished I was somewhere else. It was so very appropriate given the hell I was about to endure.

Charlie was at the front door to the Clearwater's house before I had even unclipped my seatbelt. Grumbling, I walked towards my father and stepped through the front door as soon as it had been opened. Not even acknowledging Harry and his greeting. I stomped into the living room and sat in the worn pink armchair in the darkest corner, furthest away from everyone and everything. I so wasn't in the fucking mood.

"So... Bella?" I hadn't even realised that Sue had come into the living room. I couldn't find it in me to care. She seemed nervous, unsure; but I was going to make this talk even more difficult than she expected it to be.

"Bella, be nice." It was Charlie. He had perched himself awkwardly on the edge of the worn pink sofa opposite me. I snorted. Be nice? He had to be fucking kididng.

"Can we just talk about this, honey?"

I glared up at Sue. There was no way I could contain my anger now. She had just opened a can of whoop-ass and she didn't even know it yet.

"Honey?" I growled. "Honey? What right have you to fucking call me honey?" I spat.

"Now, now," she scolded. "There's no need for language like that."

"What right have you got to tell me what to do?" I hissed. "You're not even my mother." I stood up and strode towards her. "I have no fucking," I emphasised the expletive, "mother."

With that, I pushed past her. Not even taking enough time to glory in the absolute look of horror I had put on her face. I couldn't put up with this crap. I had to get out. Behind me, I heard Charlie yelling. Trying to get me to come back. But he was just lucky I hadn't started on him... I could think of so much shit to yell at him that he would probably pass out from the embarrassment.

He was lucky that I came to this fucking mistake of a meeting without trying to break his hand. At the very least, I had seriously considered breaking his hand. But, no. I'd given him the benefit of the doubt. And look where it had gotten me. Abso-fucking-lutely nowhere.

There was only one place I could think to go now. Not to Charlie's. That wasn't my home. But, where I was headed almost was. Everytime I came to Forks, I would spend most of my time here. Without thinking, I broke into a run. Jacob's house wasn't too far away.

I was fitter than I'd thought. Ten minutes of puffing and panting and I was there. Secretly, I congratulated myself for giving up smoking. Only a year of doing it and already my lungs felt as if they were shot to fucking bits. I was glad I had given up when I did.

Quickly, I whacked my fist against the oak front door. Billy opened it. He didn't have to say a word, his downcast eyes spoke volumes. I didn't need this shit right now. Especially not from Billy. My dad's closest male friend had known all these years and hadn't even hinted. I was almost as livid with him as I was with Charlie.

But I couldn't take it out on Billy. I felt a certain volume of sympathy for the poor bastards stuck in wheelchairs... not that it excused his actions. His legs may not work, but his brain bloody well did. I knew that for a fact. He had beaten me enough times at Scrabble for me to know... and English was my thing. It was the only thing I was decent at in school.

I walked past Billy and followed the soft snoring upstairs. Jacob, never having grown out of taking naps, always took a little time for a snooze during the day. Even though he was nearing seventeen and I had just turned eighteen, he still took naps. The thought almost made me smile. Almost.

Not bothering to knock on the door, I barged in and jumped onto Jacob's bed. It was near enough to his bedroom door in this small room that there was barely room for any other furnishings, though I noticed a brand new wardrobe as I continued bouncing on Jacob's bed.

"What... who... mmmm," Jacob grumbled sleepily. I would have described him as cute, even though he was now a whopping six foot five, but I wasn't sure if I could ever call Jacob cute. It would give him the wrong idea. All I wanted for right now was to feel some of the love that Jacob never failed to produce.

"Fucking wake up, you woman." I placed my foot on his chest and began to press down as hard as I could manage. Though apparently it wasn't hard enough as it only caused Jacob to giggle.

Suddenly, he grabbed my ankle and pulled me on top of him. I tried to wrestle against his broad shoulders, but he held my waist tightly with only one arm. Even asleep the big bastard was strong. And I kind of hated him for it. If I had his sort of power... Christ. I couldn't even imagine the damage I would create. Well, I could... it wouldn't be pretty...

"Bells..." Jacob's voice was almost a purr. Rumbling me out of my daydreams.

"Let go of me, Jake." I beat my tiny fists against his huge chest, which only caused him to grab hold of me tighter. This time, he was holding onto my ass. "Jake!" I yelled to try and wake him up some. "Get the hell off my ass!"

"It was okay last time..." He grinned.

"That was only because you were upset." Though I had to chuckle at the memory. Me, backing into Jacob with Charlie's 'borrowed' (aka stolen) police cruiser. Jacob screaming like a girl. Him grabbing my ass and saying it was the only possible thing in the world that would help.

"And now you're upset." Damn, even half asleep, the boy was perceptive.

"Kind of." I could never lie to Jacob. He always saw right through me anyway. And I needed at least one person to tell my secrets to... now that Renee was a fucking fake. I growled. Jacob began to stroke my hair.

"You know, Bells, I didn't even know about all this shit until Seth told me. He was worried at the time because Leah hadn't come home for five days. I told him that it was probably for the best, it was only Leah after all... but he started to cry. Just broke down right in front of me. I was seriously considering slapping the kid for embarrassing me in front of the guys. Little bastard."

I flinched as Jacob said the last word. _Bastard. _Well, I guess that's what I was now. I didn't realise I had gone stiff in Jacob's arms until he kissed me softly on the top of my head.

"I'm so sorry, Bella. I shouldn't have said that. God dammit!" He threw his head back onto his pillow. "I'm such a dick!"

"I know," I sighed. "But, you're my dick after all." That made him laugh. "And you will always be my dick Jacob, forever." We both cracked up.

"Hey, Bells..." Jacob had resumed stroking my hair. "Do you wanna talk about it?"

"No." I bit, harshly. "Sorry, Jake." I hated being mean to him. "I just can't right now."

"What do you want to do then? You know I'll always be here for you, right?"

I brought my head up from his shoulder and looked into his deep, chocolate eyes. Their depths threatened to drown me. But this was what I needed. Some Jacob love. He never failed to disappoint. The kid was right... he was always there for me.

That's when I kissed him. I didn't even know I was going to do it, until it happened. And when his soft, full lips were on mine; it felt right. More right than anything had felt for a long, long time. All I knew was that I didn't want it to end. Someone loved me. Whether I felt the same or not wasn't an issue right now. All that mattered was that this moment never end.

Jacob increased the pressure. Demanding more. I obliged, more than willing. Our lips were moving as one. In time. In tune. Perfection. A feeling I'd never experienced before. Before I knew it, our tongues were merging. Dancing in unison.

Hands grazed bodies. Exploring. Wanting. I needed this so badly. Needed him more than anything. I'd never imagined this would happen with Jacob... but now it felt right. His hand gently caressed circles on my back. As if he were asking permission. I bit his lower lip, causing him to whimper, as I thrust my cold hands underneath his flannel shirt. The sudden cold made him gasp.

His hand's were on my breasts in seconds, removing my bra, grasping their small peaks greedily. I pushed his face away from mine as I quickly shrugged out of my t-shirt and threw it to the floor, along with the unclipped bra. Jacob was a fast mover. I chuckled slightly as I put my lips back to his.

I was suddenly being rolled onto my back as Jacob peeled off his shirt and jeans. By-passing my lips, he trailed small delicate kisses down the middle of my body. My back arched up in anticipation. This was the best kind of torture I could imagine. Jacob's mouth reached the top of my jeans and he ran his tongue lightly across my stomach. I gasped. Before I even knew my pants had been unzipped, they were flying over my head and onto the new wardrobe.

Jacob's mouth found mine once more. These kisses were more furious, desperate, needing. I leaned forward and yanked down his boxers. There was no time for foreplay. We had to do this. Right now. We both knew that there would be time for niceties later. Much later. All it was about now was fucking. Not making love. This was pure fucking. At least, it was in my mind. I needed Jacob, he was here, he loved me, he needed me... what could be wrong about this?

My underwear had disappeared onto Jacob's floor. Suddenly, he was thrusting inside me. Huge and hard and hot. I screamed in pure pleasure as our limbs tangled. Jacob was a pro at making my climax rise and fall, toying with me until he was ready himself.

We came smolderingly, shuddering and quickly. Him on top of me. Softly he kissed my lips as he rolled to his side.

"I love you, Bella." He whispered as he kissed my lips once more.

Crap. Love. That was something I hadn't foreseen. I forced as smile back at him as I kissed him quickly. I didn't want to hurt him. I did love him... but... it wasn't the same. Crap.

I wrapped myself in his arms and drifted to sleep. I couldn't go back to Charlie's. Here was the best place for me. I just dreaded the conversation that I knew was coming in the morning.


	3. Walk of Shame

Chapter Two

Bella POV

I woke up in his arms. Fuck. I woke up in his goddammed arms. This wasn't going to make shit any easier. What made it even worse was knowing that I couldn't even attempt to ease myself out from his huge, warm armed embrace. The bastard always had been a light sleeper, though from the way his light snores echoed around the room you would never guess.

He was my Jake... Mine. But could he ever be mine like this? I didn't get the chance to think as Jacob's eyes fluttered open.

"Mmm," he yawned as he stretched his arms out from my back. "Morning." His hands found my hips as he hugged me slowly.

"Hi." My tone was blunt, so I sweetened my face with a smile.

"Well," Jacob grinned back at me. "That night was certainly worth the wait." His fingers traced tantalizing circles at the base of my spine, trailing occasionally to the top of my buttocks and the side of my hips.

My body tingled at the reminder of our night, a part of me desperately wanted to melt in his arms. But there was something stopping me. Something holding me back. It just wasn't... right.

"Last night was... good." I was honest. I couldn't tell him it had been awful, or that I regretted it; neither of those things were true. Jacob had provided me with a love I had urgently fucking needed.

"It was better than good," he purred into my ear. "If I had known my first time was going to be that amazing, I would have gotten into your pants a few years ago." Jacob laughed, but only at the crude way he had said it. Unfortunately, I knew the dick wasn't kidding around.

Then it really dawned on me. Shit, had he just told me that I'd popped his cherry? Or whatever the male equivalent was? This was worse than I'd anticipated.

I mean, I'd had a few meaningless fucks in Arizona; so last night didn't bother me as far as experience went. From the way Jake had always talked about the sluts at the Rez high, I guess I had just assumed he had experience. And the way he had performed last night... My fucking mistake.

Jacob had begun to trail kisses lightly across my chin and jaw, pulling me out of another daydream. I had to be straight with him. For both our sakes.

"Jacob..." He silenced me with a firm kiss. His warm lips trying to distract me. This time, though, I knew I couldn't get carried away.

"Jacob." I spoke firmly as I pushed against his hard shoulders with my too soft palms.

"Yeah?" But he wasn't really listening to me. His gaze was trained securely on my mouth.

"Jake, listen." I tilted his chin up with my forefinger. Making it so that he had to look into my eyes.

"Okay," he groaned. "Shoot."

"Jake, last night... Well, I wouldn't change it for the world but... ah, fuck. You know I love you, right?"

"Yeah..." he trailed off, unsure.

"Well, I do. I fucking love you. And I loved fucking you, just to add. But it can't be more than last night. Don't you see? You and me... We're not supposed to end up together. I can always see myself in your life, you're my best friend. My dick forever, remember? But it can't work."

"Why?" Jacob's jaw was set stubbornly.

"Because it's not the same. What I feel for you and what you feel for me..." I was trying to untangle myself from him as I spoke. "They just aren't the same..."

Right then, the fucking look I saw in his eyes, just broke my heart. I was such a bitch. A cold, callous bitch who had just used her best friend then discarded him like trash. I had to get out.

I rolled over, off the bed, and started quickly putting on the clothes that had been strewn about during last night's action. As I pulled my t-shirt over my head and reached toward the door handle, I heard him. Speaking quieter than I ever imagined he could.

"I'll never give up. Just so you know."

I hung my head in fucking shame as I got the hell out of his room and hightailed it out of his house. Luckily, no Billy was lying in wait to see me perform my walk of shame.

With no car, and all means of getting a quick ride out of the question, I began the walk back to Forks. Having a whole four miles to figure out my worst qualities and make me feel even more crappy.

Usually, I didn't do early. But I was so damn pleased that there wasn't anyone around to witness my fuck-ups that I realised early deserves more credit.

That's when the car came. Zooming past me at about seventy miles per hour. The speed nearly knocked me on my ass. As I glared grumpily at the blacktop, wondering why no jackass thought to put a sidewalk there, I didn't see the car slow down. I only realised it was stopping when I heard the screech of the breaks.

I looked ahead, about to yell at the dickhead for driving so damn fast, when I was sidetracked. This person's car was shining so brightly in the sun, it almost blinded me. Stupid, silver, shiny Volvo owner.

The driver door opened, and I was doubly enraged at the fucker. For driving way too fast and having a car that was way too shiny... but I was stopped in my tracks. Standing in front of me was one of the prettiest fucking guys I had ever met.

His hair was the colour of bronze, shimmering above his sunglasses. His skin was as white as a virgin's bedsheets. His crooked smile made me weak at the knees, and hinted that he wasn't as innocent as he looked. Unlike the guys I was used to, he was slender... but I found that I liked it. He had me so bloody mesmerized that I had stopped walking.

"Hey." His voice snapped me out of whatever influence I had been under. "Need a ride?"


	4. Close Encounters of the Pretty Kind

**A/N:**

**A little fluff for you guys. I know how you like the fluff :) though the language in here is pretty rife (as it will be throughout). Sorry if that isn't to your taste... it's just how this Bella rolls.**

**Now, enough of my rambling. I'm going to let her tell you the story...**

_Psst, just to add, I own none of these characters. Stephenie Meyer does. But leave me reviews anyhow :) (please)_

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Chapter Three

Bella POV

Need a ride, huh? There was so much I could answer him with, but my tongue was fucking stuck. It was so embarrassing. I'd never had any problems talking to guys before... they were all just walking hard-ons anyhow. But now, it was as if I was broken. Something wrong with my bloody mind.

"Miss?" He was speaking again. I had to unfreeze myself soon so he didn't think I was some nutcase or something.

"Depends which way you're headed." I tried to come across coy, but I was sure I looked retarded. I was such a fucking loser.

"I'm pretty flexible..." he grinned.

"Nice to know," I said as my mind screamed _'I bet you fucking are'_.

"So, did you want a ride or not?"

"Sure, why not." I headed to the passenger door at the same time as him. He leaned forward and held the door open for me. I thought no one fucking did that any more. Not that it wasn't nice...

The door was closed quietly behind me, and I heard him slide into his own seat a moment later. Stealthy bastard. Two could play at that game. As discreetly as I could manage, I peeked at him from the corner of my eye. Damn, he was even prettier up close. This car ride was going to be a fucking test of wills... I vowed to myself that I could not sleep with a guy I didn't know. Could I?

I shook those thoughts from my head as I focused my gaze on the road. But, before long, the road no longer held any interest for me. I had to look at him.

His long, pale fingers were wrapped delicately around the steering wheel. I couldn't help but imagine him holding onto me that gently. Those gorgeous fingers softly tracing the lines of my body... But that was ridiculous. Why was I getting so fucking worked up about his goddamned fingers?

Suddenly, his head turned to me. He caught me looking. Crap. I couldn't bullshit my way out of this one. My staring had been too freaking obvious for any chance of escape. I looked up to his face from under my lashes, more sheepish than seductive.

Then he grinned. He fucking grinned. This wide, beautiful, crooked smile erupted onto his face and made me almost come in my jeans. Christ. That was one powerful smile.

The smile I returned was sloppy, nothing compared to his, though he still smiled wider at my attempt. This was worse than junior high, these stupid fucking butterflies in my stomach making me get all nervous and excited. No guy had ever had this effect on me.

"So, I've never seen you around before..." That was my voice. Crap. Why did I allow myself to speak? Stupid, disobedient brain.

"I've not seen you either... and I would remember..." Was he flirting with me? God, I wouldn't be able to stand it if he were flirting with me. A smile escaped past my self control and onto my face. This was getting beyond pathetic.

"Who are you then?" Which was a question I probably should have asked before I had gotten into the car of a complete stranger. Though I couldn't bring myself to care about the little details at that moment in time.

"Edward, my name is Edward." He looked over at me and flashed another orgasmic smile. "I've just moved in with my aunt and uncle... you might know my cousin, Mike Newton?"

"That dickhead is your cousin?" The insult popped out from behind my filter for appropriate language. That fucking thing seemed broken, I couldn't control what I was saying anymore.

"Yeah," he laughed. Not seeming offended at all. "He is pretty much, as you say, a dickhead. But, you can't change family can you?"

I laughed with him, feeling as if I should apologize, but not quite being able to muster any sorry emotions for what I had said. Mike Newton was a dickhead, and the local pot dealer to boot. Though even his parents knew that.

I tried to remember back to all those pointless, weed-fueled conversations with Mike; to remember if he had ever said anything about a gorgeous cousin. But nothing sprang to mind. Those days spent with Mike mostly consisted of avoiding his wandering hands and telling him he was a tool, which was and still is completely true.

"Why did you move to Forks then? Couldn't you escape?"

"Well," he gave a half laugh at my comment and looked away from me. "I really didn't have anywhere else to go. I'm not old enough to be by myself, and I needed somewhere to finish high school. I guessed here was as good as anywhere else, though I don't have family in any other place. That kind of influenced my decision."

"What do you mean? Did your parents ship you away?" I almost said too, but didn't let it slip. I didn't want to give too much of myself away. I wanted to know as much about Edward as I could without tarnishing it with my own pointless life story.

"My parents died." He said, rather matter-of-factly. Only stopping to sigh a brief sigh. Even that sound fucking broke my heart. I wished I'd never asked. "So, where am I taking you?"

I noticed his attempt at a subtle conversation change and went with it, it was the least I could do after dredging up painful memories. Right then, I felt even more of a bitch than I had when I had ditched Jacob. What the fuck was wrong with me?

"I can just walk from Newton's place... it's not that far."

"So, you live nearby?" Edward cast a sideways glance in my direction, when he caught me looking back he flashed another smile.

"You could say that." I still didn't want to tarnish my memory of him by talking about myself. "Anyway," I was curious to know, and didn't have much time left. "How come I've never seen you around if you're Newton's cousin?"

"My mom was Mike's father's sister." He sighed. "We only ever came to visit for Thanksgiving."

"That explains it then," I grinned at him. "I was only forced here for two weeks every summer."

"Shame, isn't it. How our paths never crossed. At least we can be thankful for now..." he winked. Fuck me. He winked! I resisted the urge to squeal.

That was when the car came to a stop. Fucking typical. Always at the worst possible moment my luck tends to run out, shame today couldn't be the bloody exception. We were outside Newton's Sports Store.

"I'd better be off then..." he sighed another sigh that made me want to hug him and never let go, as he turned off the ignition.

"Yeah..." I trailed off as I got out of the car unaided.

"Will I see you around?" His head suddenly spun in my direction. "I work here some days, and I go to Forks High." It was as if he was trying to give me an incentive. Not that I needed one. Blind bastard, couldn't he see that I desperately wanted us to meet again?

"I fucking hope I'll see you soon..." I slammed the car door and started walking briskly out of the Newton's parking lot. Not daring a glance back in case I never fucking left.


	5. Warnings

**A/N:**

**I have had a few requests for longer chapters, which I am going to take into account asap! But, for now, this little chapter was begging to be written and out of the way.**

**So, just a short one here to give me time to plan for the next one (which is set to be around 3k). Give me reviews to make my happiness swell, my love for the story grow and my enthusiasm for the next chapter deepen. (They also make me write faster!) Enjoy the new character introduction...**

**For jezzeria, who dedicated chapter 12 of 'The Road to Forgiveness' to me while I was away. Thanks :) and this is for you. Keep on truckin' (or something like that).**

_These aren't my characters, they are Stephenie Meyer's. They just use me as their pawn to give them a different storyline (not as good as the original, but I try...)_** Enjoy...**_ :)_

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Chapter Four

Bella POV

God, I couldn't keep his face from my mind. It was all I could think about. Even through my arguments with Charlie and our awkward dinner, pretty boy's face kept me sane. I was so bloody glad that I'd met Edward. Despite him being the cousin of dickhead Newton.

I couldn't wait until I was enrolled in Forks High so I could see him again. Just shows how a hot guy can abolish any aversion to authority figures...

I was reading in my room the next day when Charlie interrupted me. What a prick.

"Hey, Bells" He was trying to be cute as he popped his head around my door. All I noticed was how he didn't even bother to fucking knock.

"What do you want?" I knew I would have to put my book down, Charlie had his 'we need to talk' face on, but I was loathing the freaking interruption.

"It's about school. You don't mind if I enroll you on Monday, do you? I know I was going to wait for another week for you to get settled, but it would be beneficial for you to start as soon as possible." Charlie attempted a smile, but I saw right through him.

"Getting fed up of me already, old man?" I scoffed, hiding my sudden pleasure at seeing Edward in a mere two days time.

"Not at all," he blushed. A clear sign he was lying. "The administrator at the Reservation High School said if you started Monday, you could catch up to the rest of the year as they start their new semesters. It will help you graduate..."

Charlie was playing the graduation card. Fuck. Sometimes I thought he knew me too well. He knew how badly I wanted to move out after my final year. It wasn't too far away now. Only a few more months and I would be free from this shithole and the farce that was listening to my so-called parents.

But I was too distracted to see Charlie trying to play me. Instead, I was hung up on something else.

"The Reservation? Fuck that, Charlie! I am so not going to the Rez high!" I jumped off my bed as I yelled at him.

"Isabella!" He was attempting to be forceful. "It is for the best."

"And how do you figure that?"

"Your mother says it will be better if you went to school with your sister. You would be in the same year, even some of the same classes. And you would be able to get to know your little brother better too."

"My mother said that? My mother?" I screamed. "Well, fuck her Charlie... and fuck you too!"

I stormed past him and out of the front door. As I got to the end of the drive, I realised I had nowhere to go. Crap. I had effectively burned all my bridges with people in Forks in the space of two days.

Well, there was one place I could think to go...

And that's how I ended up at Newton's Sports Store. Shit, I must have it really bad for that damn pretty boy.

I kind of dreaded walking into the store without any clue if he was working, but as soon as I saw that fucking silver Volvo it was all the incentive I needed. I charged into that store like a woman on a mission... which wasn't far from the truth.

Ignoring how out of place I felt at a store I usually wouldn't be seen dead at, I plugged in my headphones and quickly skirted through the front door. Hoping that I wouldn't be spotted, until I had seen him first.

I hid at the back of the store, between the tents and the hiking boots, for what seemed like a goddamned age.

Then I saw it. His gorgeous bronze hair bobbing over the top of an aisle two rows away from me. To escape being caught out like some freakish stalker, I decided to just approach him. That was, until someone grabbed my arm from behind.

"Isabella..." My name was breathed heavily.

"Newton." I sighed, without even having to turn around. The stench that could only belong to a pot-dealer saturated the air around me. A smell I was unfortunately way too fucking familiar with.

"What are you doing here? You finally come to your senses and figure that you want to share that beautiful pussy of yours?"

"Fuck off, Newton. We all know that isn't ever going to happen." I yelled over his laughter. "I got some shit I got to sort out is all."

"Need some sports supplies? Yeah fucking right. The only exercise you give your hoarish lungs is smoking shit and selling your body..."

"I said, fuck off Newton!"

"I know you met my cousin yesterday. Slut. Stay away from him."

"What the hell? How the fuck do you know?" I hadn't even told Edward my name...

"The stupid bastard told me all about this beautiful girl he gave a ride to. Told me she didn't say much, but was pretty sarcastic whenever she did open her fucking mouth."

"Doesn't mean it was me." I spat, while inside I glowed thinking of Edward's compliment. He had thought I was beautiful.

"I know it was you, bitch. Stay the fuck away." He growled as he interrupted my thoughts.

"Okay, whatever Newton. Just piss off."

I pushed past him and went straight to the automatic doors at the front of the store. I had to get out. I couldn't deal with much more shit in my day.

"Wait!" I didn't know if I was being shouted at, but didn't bother to turn around and check.

"Miss! Wait!"

As soon as I heard the word 'Miss', I spun around. I knew that voice. Then, I saw his amazing face. Edward.

"Oh... hey." I tried to act cool, but instead looked bloody ridiculous. What was it about this guy that turned me into a complete cunt?

"I'm glad I spotted you. How come you didn't even say hello?" He looked and sounded genuinely disappointed.

"Just ran into your dickhead cousin is all. Felt as though I might not be welcome."

"Don't listen to him. Please. He's just jealous because he has a huge crush on you."

I couldn't help myself. I had to laugh. I'm glad Edward didn't get offended. Well, I guessed he wasn't offended when he joined in with my fucking hideous laughter.

"Sorry... about not saying hi. I won't ever let him get to me again." I smiled. Christ... not many things usually made me smile, but as soon as I'd met this guy I couldn't seem to contain it.

"You promise?" Edward grinned.

"Yeah, I fucking promise." I grinned back. "You want me to make it up to you?" Was I trying to flirt? Fuck. I cringed at my attempt as I held my breath, waiting for his answer.

"Come and have lunch with me Monday in the cafeteria. It will be both our first days, from what Mike has told me. Probably will be easier for us if we have someone we can rely on." He smiled.

"Sure. See you then." I smiled back, not having the heart to tell him that we wouldn't even be attending the same fucking school.


	6. Valuable Lessons

**A/N:**

**Here it is! The Long One! If some of you are dancing right now then good! That is exactly the response I want you to have :) And, guess what, turns out that this one is 4.5k - whoa!**

**I'm not sure how intense things are going to get as I'm writing this over two days, but I know that it will have a certain extent of lemons. Not the full monty – or full lemony – but pretty dicey shit is going down.**

**Anyway, I hope you enjoy. As always. **

_Plus, Stephenie Meyer is the chick in charge of all these characters. Send thanks to her in the form of reviews for me :P_

_------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

Chapter Five

Bella POV

It was Monday already. How come time goes so much faster when all you want it to do is fucking stop? I hadn't seen pretty boy since our encounter at the store, but I was dreading today. Dreading it so much that I was awake at five am. And I never woke up at five am.

Fucking goddamn it all!

Now Monday was here, the hours were crawling past. As if the universe wanted to draw out the unnecessary pain that would be my first awful day at a new school. Especially at the shitty Reservation High.

At six thirty, I gave up. I threw my half finished horror novel onto the floor and slammed my way into the bathroom. If I was awake, I would make sure Charlie fucking suffered along with me. This was all his fault, after all.

I met him downstairs when I was suitably dressed for my first day. It would piss him off... and that was really the point.

Black nail varnish, black halter top that showed just the right amount of stomach and boobs, denim skirt that showed off just a little too much leg... and knee high boots that even the gals on the street corners would find offensive. I had my hair down and it was curling nicely at the ends.

Today was looking up.

As I walked through the door into the kitchen, I heard Charlie choke on his cereal. Then I saw the river of milk running down his chin. It was so hard to stop the laughter that threatened to burst from past my lips.

Instead, I did a twirl and smiled at my father.

"How do I look?" I tried to sound like I was asking a serious question, curbing the smile slightly to avoid looking like I was trying to annoy him. Even though that was the whole fucking point.

"You look... uhmm..." Charlie coughed. "Nice, Bells."

"Really?" I choked back another bout of laughter. "It isn't too much, is it? I just want to look good for my first day."

"It might be a little..." he coughed again. "Much." He was trying to avoid any traps. Smart man. Though I knew a surefire way to catch out the bastard.

"In what way, Charlie?" I batted my eyelids and smiled sweetly at him. As if I really wanted to know his opinion.

"Well, the whole outfit... it's a little..."

"What, Charlie? What is it?"

"It is a little trashy."

Perfect. He had fallen for it. Now I wouldn't feel too bad for starting an argument... Hell, who was I kidding? I was just looking for a fucking excuse to start one.

"Trashy?" I yelled. "And you would know! You with your bullshit affairs and your bastard kids! Do I have any other brothers or sisters you need to tell me about, Charlie? Anything else that gives you the fucking right to call me trashy?"

"Isabella..." Trying to be forceful was not Charlie's forte.

"Maybe I'm playing up to my role, Charlie. The one you created for me the day you fucked a married woman!" And with that I stomped outside.

As soon as I got the the end of the drive, I experienced a really uncomfortable deja vu. I had nowhere to freaking go. No way to get to school... Not that I was complaining...

Then I felt a hand tap my shoulder. I knew it was Charlie before I even turned around. I wondered what the hell he could possibly want after all the shit I had just thrown at him.

"Bells, I'm sorry..."

Whoa. That was a surprise. He was apologizing for a fight that I instigated... Again, not that I was complaining. I simply crossed my arms and waited, knowing that there was more to come from the creases or worry that lined Charlie's forehead.

As I waited, I noticed how old Charlie was starting to look. All this affair crap was beginning to take it out of him. Being Chief of police, his job was sure to be more stressful because of everything... Then again, it was his own fault.

"I actually wanted to give you something today." I raised my eyebrow... this was unexpected.

"Something like what?" I realised I sounded ungrateful. "Like a slap?" I was trying to be funny. "I know I deserve it sometimes Charlie... Sorry about all that shit in the kitchen..."

"It's okay." He smiled and patted me on the shoulder. "And, well," he used the same hand to scratch the back of his head. "I got you a car."

"What the fuck? Are you shitting me?"

"No, it's just over there."

I turned around to see a 1950's chevvy truck parked behind Charlie's cruiser. It's red finish was almost the same colour as the rust the clung to the edges, it's wheels were balding, and you could just tell by looking at it that the engine would need work in the not-so-distant future. But I didn't give a damn. I fucking loved it.

"Whoa! Charlie! Thanks! It's... wow." I ran towards it and pressed my nose up against the driver's side window. "This is seriously mine?"

"All yours, Bells. A little welcome to Forks present."

"You're trying to buy me off, aren't you?" I laughed, causing Charlie to smile.

"Of course." He continued to smile as he walked towards me and handed me a set of keys.

"Where the hell did you find her?"

"Bought her off Billy Black. Jacob brought her round last night. I'm surprised you didn't hear... the engine isn't exactly subtle..."

"Then it's just the right fit for me. I'm not exactly subtle either, am I?" I laughed again. I couldn't help myself. "Thanks, Charlie. I think I'll take her for a quick ride before school."

"Sounds like a good idea, Bells. Have a good first day."

Charlie walked back to the house, shut the front door and walked into the living room. I saw him pick something up and head back towards the front door. He pulled it open and threw something out to me. I was surprised when I caught it, even more surprised when I saw what it was.

"You got me a backpack?"

"Got to be prepared. See you at dinner."

With that he shut the front door. I guessed it was so I wouldn't throw the bag right back at him. But I couldn't bring myself to be mad at him anymore. He may have won this battle, but he had definitely not won the fucking war.

I got into my new car, threw my bag onto the passenger seat and started up the engine. She boomed into life with an almighty roar. Fucking awesome.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

The eyes had followed me as soon as I had opened the door of my car. It was as if all the dicks at the Rez high knew I was coming and were waiting for me to slip up. But I wasn't going to let that happen. I wasn't going to let them see how much their hate bothered me.

I tried to take in my surroundings, to figure out the best escape routes if anything got really serious. Though I was finding it hard to concentrate on the single story school made entirely out of red bricks. My eyes were starting to fucking bleed. It was as if someone had looked into my own personal hell and sent me here for their own amusement.

This day was set to be a god awful disaster.

I had thought the worst part of my day was when Jacob bounded over to my car and slipped his arm around my waist. Announcing to fucking everyone that he was my escort... and not specifying in what way. Now people were bound to think the worst. Again, not that I cared about their damn opinions.

But, no. I had been wrong. So freaking wrong that I wanted to go back in time and punch myself in the face.

Third period. Just before lunch. Biology. I had been sat next to my fucking half sister. Neither me nor Leah were best impressed with the situation. At least she had the rest of the bloody class on her side, all staring daggers at me as I took my aisle seat next to her.

Charlie wasn't wrong when he had said that we were going to share some classes, but I wished we weren't sharing them this closely. The teacher was surely taking the piss. He must either have it out for Leah, or for new kids. Either way, the situation was messed up... Now I was screwed for the rest of the semester. Sitting next to family that I didn't even know.

I wasn't paying attention at all throughout the lesson. Luckily, I hadn't been called on once. The only thing I was focused on was staying as far away from Leah as possible. Perched on the edge of my seat with my elbows hanging off the desk. Ignoring Leah's continuous stares as she obviously wished me dead.

Halfway through the droning lecture from Professor Mac-Shit-For-Brain... or whatever the fuck his name was, my pen rolled across the desk. Towards Leah. Godamnit! I went to reach over and grab it, but she got there before me. She rolled it in between her fingers, taunting me. I growled at her and extended my hand. Not giving her an option. She had to give it back to me. It was fucking mine after all.

Before I knew it, she had taken the cap off the pen and rammed it into my open palm. Hard enough that it drew blood. She had stabbed me with my own bastard pen! It was standing there, mocking me grotesquely, as it stayed stuck in the midst of my flesh.

As soon as it sunk in, I growled properly. I pushed back my stool, grabbed the pen with my other hand and threw it back in her face.

"You fucking bitch."

"Fuck off, bastard kid. Can't you see you aren't wanted?"

With that, I slapped her. Hard. So hard that her lip began to bleed. I grimaced at her as the rest of the class watched our fucked-up little family showdown.

Before anyone had chance to retaliate, before the teacher could shut up long enough to pay attention, before the rest of the class turned on me and ripped me to fucking shreds; I ran. I bolted out of that damn classroom and didn't even look back.

I only stopped at the girl's bathroom long enough to grab a handful of tissues to wrap up my still bleeding hand, then I hightailed it out of school and to my only sanctuary. I was so grateful right then for my new bloody car.

As soon as I started the engine, I knew where I was headed. One placed that I promised I would be. I had to go to Forks High... It was almost lunchtime, after all.

I didn't have a fucking clue where I was headed, all I knew was that I had to avoid Charlie's house and all aspects of the police force. Especially the station. I couldn't let it get back to him that I had skipped out on my first day of school... not after all the trouble he had gone through this morning.

It took me fifteen minutes of aimless driving around the middle of Forks before I found a sign that pointed me in the direction I wanted to go. This shit was not being made easy for me.

When I finally pulled into the damn parking lot, I stifled a scream as I noticed that there were no available spots for me to park. So I took some fucking initiative, drove right up to the front of the school, parked directly on the verge blocking any public access and almost destroying a bench. Brilliant.

The bell seemed not to have gone for lunch, so I was glad I could avoid anymore staring as I slammed my door closed and stomped off to find the cafeteria. It was almost twelve thirty. I guessed their lunch period began at half past the hour and, what would you know, I was freaking right.

I had just settled myself into a chair at a table near the back of the room when the flood of people surged in. I recognised most of the fuckers in my year.

There was Newton pulling his little slut Jessica by the hand, rumor had it that she was letting people pay her for sex now... Then came Tyler. He was a good guy as things go, but majorly whipped by his bitch Lauren. Angela, Ben and Eric followed meekly behind the power couples. The geeks, if you will. I had never heard Angela say a goddamned word, Ben was afraid of conflict and girls, and Eric was a horny bastard that tried to fuck anything that moved. He had tried it on with me once, but I had punched him in his too big mouth. Teach the cunt a lesson.

They saw me, I knew they did. Their stares weren't exactly inconspicuous. Coupled with the pointing and whispering, I knew I had made an impact. But I couldn't bring myself to give a fuck. There was only one person I was waiting for.

He arrived at my table without me even noticing. Leaning over me, causing me to jump and break from my staring contest with Newton, he whispered a greeting. I tried to contain my indiscreet blush as he took an available seat to my left.

"Hey." I grinned as he pulled his seat just a little bit closer to mine.

"Hey back at you." His smile made me thankful I was sitting down, it was as if my knees were turned into jelly. Christ, I wanted him so badly.

"Good first day?" I had to think of other things, less dirty things...

"Not really... I've been counting the hours until lunch. It's been quite a distraction. You're quite a distraction..." he leaned forward and tucked a stray strand of hair behind my ear. As he leaned back, his cool hand traced the line of my jaw gently leaving me with a line of inexplicable goosebumps on my secretly smoldering skin.

"Well," I took a deep breath as calmly as I could manage. "It's nice to know that I have that effect on people."

"So, how was your day?"

"It could have been better."

I was honest, but I hid my right hand underneath the table as I grinned. I was still grasping a handful of tissue and didn't want him to ask questions. The fucking thing was painful enough without having to relive it.

"So..." He raised an eyebrow at me as he rested his chin on his hand.

"What?" I looked back quizzically and shrugged my shoulders.

"Are you ever going to tell me anything about yourself?"

"Hmm..." I pretended like I was seriously considering his question. "No."

"Why? I want to know everything about you. All about your life, your family..."

"Yeah fucking right." I snorted. I couldn't help myself. "As soon as I start talking about myself you'll be running a fucking mile pretty boy."

Fuck. Had I just called him pretty boy? Out loud? Fuck! Luckily, he either hadn't been listening or he was simply ignoring my remark. Whichever was the truth, I was bloody thankful.

I leaned back in my chair, trying to appear nonchalant, as I pulled the chair opposite me closer with my leg and propped my feet up. I couldn't let him see what effect he was having on me. So, I closed my eyes lazily as I folded my arms, hands still hidden under one another.

"At least tell me your name..." his voice had an edge that I liked. He wanted to know. Really wanted to know. Maybe he wasn't like the other walking hard-ons...

"Bella. Hey."

"Bella... is that short for anything?" His eyes lit up, greedily consuming the information I was allowing him to have.

"Isabella, but if you call me that I might have to break your face."

"Okay," he laughed. Not nervous laughter, just genuine happy friendly laughter. Fuck, I was liking this guy.

"Bella..." He practically purred my name, pulling me from my daydream. His voice was as powerful as his orgasmic crooked smile. God, I loved it when he said my name. I could imagine him saying it in so many ways...

"Edward." I raised my eyebrow and leaned just a little bit closer to him.

"I like it when you say my name." He grinned a fuckawesome grin that made me want to mount him.

Then the bell went. The fucking godamned bastard bell went. Edward's gaze didn't drop from my own, and I knew I would have to be the one to break it. That almost bloody well killed me, knowing that I would have to be the one to get up first.

So, I did. I scraped back my seat, stood up, pulled down my hitched up skirt and hid my still bleeding hand behind my back. I smiled sadly down at him as he sighed and got up too. How had an hour gone by so freaking fast?

"I've got Biology now, how about you?"

"I had it before lunch." I sighed.

He put his forefinger under my chin and tilted my head up so I had to look at him. I had never noticed before how much paler his skin was than my own. Not that it was a rare thing to find, I was part Native American after all.

"You don't go here, do you?" Edward whispered softly.

All I could do was shake my head in response. I couldn't quite make out the word 'no'. I wanted to rub at my eyes, but settled for blinking furiously. I didn't want to draw attention to the fact that my eyes were watering. I didn't even know how a guy was having such a fucking strong effect on me.

Suddenly, the finger was gone from my chin. Edward was bent down over the table and writing something on a piece of scrap paper. He folded it neatly and held it out to me.

"Come and see me. Tonight. Here."

I took the piece of paper from his hand and looked away from his beautiful green eyes. All other beauties in the world were shit compared to him. Unfortunately, I couldn't look back up as my eyes were watering too badly. Fuck it!

"Thank you," he whispered softly and kissed me on the top of my head. "For coming to see me anyway."

I was pulled into a hug and embraced not only by him but by his smell. Never had anything smelled so amazing in all my life. It was fucking intoxicating... but in the best possible way. His grasp was strong for a slim guy, and I felt safe. I don't care if I sound like a complete freak reject, but it felt like home. I never wanted him to let go.

But then he was gone. Walking away so quickly that I was afraid he regretted it. He didn't look back once. He just pissed off with no goodbye. I had to read that note...

I unfolded it and began to read as I walked back to my car. His handwriting was almost as incredible as him. I was lost amongst the letters for a while before I could even begin to read. Though, when I started, I never wanted to stop.

_Bella,_ he wrote in perfect handwriting. _Please don't be mad that I walked away with no goodbye. I simply couldn't bring myself to say it. I don't want it to feel like I'm never going to see you again. So, I refuse to say goodbye. I couldn't look back at you, otherwise I would never have left. Please, meet me tonight in the parking lot of Forks High. Let's say nine pm? I'll be here a little earlier, and I'll wait for at least an hour. I need to see you. Please. Be. Here. Edward x_

He signed it with a kiss. A single kiss. My eyes teared up even more as I read the note over and over and over. Never wanting to stop. What a dick! How was he doing this to me?

I didn't hear someone following me until it was too late. I was within arms reach of my car, but was roughly pulled around the corner. A hand was clamped firmly onto my mouth and my back was shoved roughly against the corner of a hidden alley. I didn't know Forks High had any hidden alleys... places where no one would see you...

Newton leered into my face; breathing his hot, pungent breath into my partially covered nostrils. He looked me up and down, eye fucking me, before taking a lungful of air so he could launch into a little speech.

"Couldn't stay away, could you? You little bitch. What the hell is your problem? He is way too fucking good for you. You don't deserve to wipe the shit from his fucking shoes. I warned you. I told you to back off. But you couldn't listen. You never could listen, could you? Ignorant slut. Now I'll just have to teach you a lesson."

I didn't know what Newton had planned, but I didn't want to stick around and find out. I had to figure out my options, and fast.

So, I bit the hand that was still covering my mouth. While he was distracted, I kicked him in the knee and ran for the opening in the alley. I knew when I got there I could call for help, maybe even just run straight to my godsend of a new car.

But I didn't make it. Newton grabbed my hair from behind and spun me around. I fell onto my ass and scraped the backs of my legs on the gravel. He was leering over me, taking way too much pleasure in the blood that was slowly trickling from under me. The coppery smell of it clung to the air, from my legs and from the newly opened wound on my hand. I was thankful then that I'd never had a weak stomach. I had never been a pussy.

I was daydreaming. Fuck. My mind always chose the wrong moments to desert me. I had to focus on the matter at hand. I had to get away from this wackjob. Though I didn't know what options I had left.

Then, he was on top of me. Just fucking launched himself on top of me, scratching my legs worse on the ground. His clammy, disgusting hands were ripping at my top while his dick pushed hard against my thigh.

"Get the fuck off me!" I finally found my voice enough to growl. "What's your little dog Jessica going to think about this?"

"She'll think what I fucking tell her to think! Now shut up, bitch. It's time you learned your lesson."

His hands had pulled up my top enough so that it was almost smothering me, now he was getting to work on my skirt. It was right then that I wished I had worn more clothing. Why the fuck was Charlie always right?

Newton soon lost interest in my exposed breasts as he hauled my skirt down my legs. I had enough time to pull down my top as he tried desperately to stay on top of my flailing legs. But, as soon as my skirt reached my knees, I couldn't wriggle anymore.

My arms were pinned above my head with one of Newton's hands as his other ripped my underwear. I screamed as the elastic broke, but was soon stopped by an elbow to the face. I was seeing stars. My head was throbbing. I was sure my nose was bleeding.

Then I felt it. Jolting me from the clouds of pain. An intrusive finger being jammed inside me so hard I yelped. But Newton didn't care. He only laughed. Laughed then carried on. Each time pressing harder, scoring my soft flesh with his dirty fingernails.

I continued to writhe around, to try and dislodge the bastard, but he was firmly stuck on top of me. So I realised I would have to scream again. I didn't care if he broke my fucking nose, I had to get him off me.

I heard him unzipping the fly on his jeans. Now was my moment. I screamed. I screamed for all I was fucking worth.

I felt a blow hit me on the side of my already bloody face. My neck couldn't seem to support it's weight anymore. I almost knocked myself out when my head lolled backwards and smashed onto the floor.

Then I was being punched in the stomach. Someone was yelling. It had to be Newton, but I couldn't make out what he was saying. All I knew was that after each punch I wanted to fucking die. It was excruciating. I was already being tortured, so I screamed again.

A different voice suddenly appeared. I felt the weight of Newton being hauled off me. Unconsciously, I curled myself into a little ball to protect myself from further beatings. As I lay on the ground, listening to the shouting above me, I pulled up my skirt as far as it would go.

I was in the air. How had I gotten into the fucking air? Someone was carrying me. I blinked my eyes furiously and stared hard at the person below me. But it didn't make sense. It couldn't make sense. How the hell would he know where I was?

As I passed out, I wondered if my mind was truly messed up after the encounter with Newton... or if Jacob really had come to my rescue...


	7. How To Make A Grizzly Laugh

**A/N:**

**Another longish one :) Not up to last time's standard, but at least there are bigger chunks for you guys!**

**Had to get a few introductions out of the way in this chapter, the next one also promises to be an epic one :P As always, I hope you like it. **

_Again, just have to give a shout out to Stephenie Meyer who owns all the rights and shit._

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Chapter Six

_Bella POV_

Weird, distorted pictures swirled behind my eyelids; giving me no sense of rest even in the darkness that was supposed to be passing out. Wasn't' shit like this meant to be peaceful? So you could recover after stressful events?

Not that I wanted to even spare a second for what had made me pass out... it was all so damn clear that I was having a hard time blocking out anything. But I had to fucking try.

And, try as I might, nothing seemed to work. Newton's leering face cam at me from all angles; blocking out Pretty Boy as he looked on, face the picture of bloody agony. It was almost worse than what I'd been through. Continuing to break my freaking heart and it was only imaginary. I was loosing my already fucked up mind.

I was just glad that, in reality, Edward had been nowhere near me when Newton turned like the rabid son of a bitch he was. Though, that only left one question. A twisted enigma. My saviour.

Who the fuck was it? Something I knew for sure, it definitely hadn't been Jacob. The guy that had picked me up and carried me off was broad, but it wasn't Jake. I hadn't seen a face, but I just knew. There was something... different... about him...

Before I could dwell on it further, I woke up. Typical.

The bed beneath me was soft, with a silky bedspread and pillows that my head begged to stay sunk in forever. Above me was a canopy, a four-poster canopy. The only time I had ever seen one of these fucking things was in the movies, no one I knew had the money to buy one of these luxuries. The room was huge, painted cream, with glass doors leading out onto a balcony.

What the hell? This wasn't making any sense. I didn't know anyone that had freaking balconies. This place was way too swanky for anyone in Forks.

My eyes continued their tour of the room, and came to rest on a very large guy sitting at the end of my bed. Just, sitting there, grinning like a fucking Cheshire cat.

"So, who the fuck are you?"

I didn't mean it to come out that way; but, after just getting away from being fucked by a freak, I wanted to know I was in a better situation. Not out of the frying pan and into the fire, so to speak.

All the big guy did was laugh. Well, more of a guffaw than an actual laugh. And, to be honest, his complacent attitude just pissed me off.

"Who the fuck are you?" I asked again, with more of a bite behind my words.

"Hello to you too."

Big guy kept grinning as his voice drawled. His bass had a slight resonance, reminding me of something growling. Something like a grizzly bear. I mean, I'd never heard a grizzly laugh, but I bet it would sound like this bastard. All I wanted to do was smack the smile right from his face. It felt like he was mocking me. I do not like being mocked. Especially by strangers.

"Are you going to answer my question, or not?"

I attempted to get up from the bed. Either to bail, and run for my life, or to hit the big guy in one of his honey coloured eyes. It was either those shimmering eyes, or his nose. The nose was a bigger target, it seemed to spread when he smiled.

"Whoa, calm down sugar."

He held his hand out, as if to put it on my shoulder, but I swatted him away. Who does this jerk think he is?

"Who are you calling sugar?" I tried to get up once more.

"You." This time, he managed to push me back onto the pillows. "Now keep your pretty head on relaxed and I might just tell you who I am."

The curiosity was too much to bear. Unfortunately, I had to stay fucking still. Just to let him know I was playing along, I folded my arms across my chest and waited. He just carried on with his stupid grin.

As I stared, I noticed he was quite good looking. Almost like the guys I would usually go for but a little broader, which I thought was impossible after the last few...

His hair was floppy, slightly in his eyes, a deep chestnut brown, making his honey eyes stand out and shine even more visibly. His large nose suited him, and his grin made me want to like him. I felt as if I was starting to...

But I couldn't let that happen, even if he was exactly my type. He was a complete stranger, plus I already had my eye on someone. It was then I remembered Pretty Boy, and the fact that we were supposed to be meeting. Quickly, I glanced out of the glass doors leading to the balcony, and noticed that it was starting to get dark.

"So, you wanted to know who I was?" His deep bass reverberated in my ears, snapping me out of another daydream. As my eyes traveled back to his face, he erupted into another wide grin. "My name is Emmett." He held out a hand for me to shake.

"Bella." I took the large fingers in a tight grasp and shook them once. Hard. All he did was smile. As if my attempt had gone unnoticed.

"Nice to meet you, Bella. Are you new here too? My family moved down here a few weeks ago, from Denali."

"I'm not really from anywhere, but I've come home to live with my father. Chief Swan. You might know him?"

I tried to drop Charlie's name subtly into the conversation, to let this guy know that I would be missed. And that my father would have the resources to find me. Though, I couldn't really find it in me to be worried about anything. This fucking guy was too... nice. If that was possible. The only thing I could pick up that was off about him was the way his skin seemed unnaturally pale, and how cold his hand had been after he had offered it to me.

"I know the Chief." He was smiling. Again. This Emmett guy couldn't freaking contain himself. "He is friends with my father, my adoptive father. Doctor Carlisle Cullen, you know him?"

"Can't say I recognise the name..." I was getting bored.

"So, Bella..." his voice gained my wandering attention. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm fine, how are you?"

"No," Emmett laughed. "I mean, how are you?" He emphasised.

"I told you, I'm fine."

A crease of worry appeared suddenly on his forehead as he stared at me. It was as if I'd sprouted another bloody head. What was going on? I'd answered his question...

Then, it dawned on me. This was the big guy who had carried me off, who had stopped the scum that was Newton in his tracks. He must have seen, well, a lot. More than I felt comfortable with. Quickly, I brought my knees up to my chest and hugged them as the memories came at me thick and fast. There were a few sticky situations I had been in before, but nothing like that. Nothing like that...

"It's okay, Bella."

Emmett was suddenly very close, one arm around my back as he rubbed gentle circles and begged me to breathe. A part of me didn't want to be touched, wanted to recoil from the mere memory of the last time; but I couldn't find it in me to shy away from him. He must be my fucking guardian angel or something.

"How..." I gasped for breath as I tried to calm myself. "How did you find me?"

"I, uhm," he looked uncomfortable. "I heard you scream."

"Oh." My sigh was one more of relief than anxiety. "I'm glad." I felt like I had to explain. "I mean, I didn't think anyone would hear. I also thought all that would come from my screaming was fucking Newton braining me with his elbow some more."

Emmett laughed again, seeming more comfortable. It was really easy to like this guy. And I found that, the part of me that resented this likability earlier, was diminishing every second.

"So," he removed his arm from my shoulder and resumed his previous position at the end of my bed. "How are you?"

"To tell you the truth, I just want a shower."

And it was true. Everything else I could deal with, but not stuck with the impressions and grazes Newton had left in my skin. The emotional stuff was manageable, but the physical remnants were enough to make me want to burn my skin in bleach.

"Oh," Emmett laughed once more. With anyone else, it would have been starting to get on my nerves... "Well," he snapped me out of a daydream, "there is a bathroom attached to the guest room. You can use that if you want."

"Really? Wow, thanks."

Emmett got up off the bed and pulled back the sheets. Like a gentleman, he held out a hand to help me from the bed. It was if all the guys with manners had been hiding in fucking Forks all my life, except one that is.

"There should be everything you need in there. Shampoo, soap, towels..."

"Are there any spare clothes I could, you know, borrow?"

"I could ask my sister Alice, or Rosalie. They might have something. If not, I'll try my adoptive mother."

"Christ, Emmett. How many people are there in your family?"

"Well, Carlisle is married to Esme. They are my adoptive parents. When they found out they couldn't have kids, they decided to give homes to underprivileged teens. They adopted Rosalie first, then me, then Alice and Jasper came together."

"What the fuck? Dr. Cullen must be super rich." I hadn't meant to say this out loud.

"Yeah," he laughed, ignoring my embarrassment. "I guess you could say that."

"Hang on a sec," I was picking up on something he had said earlier. "If you are all adopted, how come you didn't call Rosalie your sister? Like you did with Alice?"

"It's kind of... weird. People don't really understand..."

"Understand what?"

"Well," he scratched the back of his head. "Rose and me, we're kind of a couple. The same with Alice and Jasper. I guess people just find it odd... but, I mean, it isn't. None of us are related or anything..."

"Hey!" I interrupted. "There is no need to defend yourself to me! Honest to fucking god, I wasn't complaining big guy! And, if you're happy, then who's to judge?"

"Exactly!" He beamed, obviously overjoyed at my response.

"Right," I wanted to get him back on track. "You go look for those clothes and I'll just jump in the shower. I swear, I won't be long."

Emmett smiled and raised a hand as a goodbye as he made his way to the door. I was just thinking about how I was glad I hadn't made a move on him seen as how he had a girlfriend and everything, when I realised that I hadn't really thanked him.

"Emmett?" I called.

"Yeah, Bella?"

"Thanks... for, saving me I guess."

"Anytime." He grinned, waved and closed the door behind him.

With the weight off my shoulders, I made my way into the en-suite bathroom. And it was nice. Real nice. I guess I needn't have asked if Carlisle was rich, the freaking bathroom answered the question for me.

White tiled floors, baby blue painted walls, state of the art jacuzzi bathtub with an attached shower head and all other modern appliances to boot. Rich? Abso-fucking-lutely.

I switched on the light, closed the door, found a fluffy baby blue towel and placed it over the shower railing. Then, I dared the first glance in the mirror. The glance I was bloody dreading.

And I was right to have been nervous. I looked hideous. It was a wonder how I'd remained confident when my face was this messed up.

I had one black eye, plenty of fingernail marks and a fucking abundance of blood. Mostly from my nose. Luckily, it looked like I had just been bleeding heavily and my nose wasn't at a funny angle. I tapped it gently, it didn't hurt too much. I was guessing it wasn't broken. Success.

Then, I looked at the backs of my legs. Crap. There wasn't much I could do about them. They were scraped pretty badly. The most I could hope for was to get rid of all the gravel stuck amongst the bastard scabs. This shower was going to be a painful one.

I was right. As always. I had to peel the dried blood off my face, and scratch at the wounds on my legs until they bled clean. The nail marks on the insides of my legs weren't too bad, but there was some mud from the prick Newton's dirty nails. I had to gouge that out too.

I scrubbed and scrubbed at myself in the shower until the blood ran clean. Then, I picked up the towel and was thankful for the softness against my freaking raw skin. I also knew, without a shadow of a doubt, that I would owe Dr. Cullen and Emmett one towel. There was no way they were getting this crap clean again.

As I trudged out of the bathroom, I opened the door to a little black haired girl sitting on the bed I had previously been laying in. Taking a more friendly approach than I had with Emmett, I decided to speak.

"Hey, are you Rosalie or Alice?"

"I'm Alice. And could you, ummm, please close the bathroom door?" Her face was extremely pale.

"Sure." I turned around and closed it gently behind me. "So, you afraid of blood or something?"

"Something like that." She trilled a bird-like laugh. "I brought you some clothes." She pointed to a pile in front of her.

"Thank you so fucking much."

"It's no problem," she smiled. "But, do you always swear like that?"

"Pretty much." I nodded.

I couldn't exactly lie to this pixie-like creature sat before me. If I was to continue to talk to her, she would find out the truth anyway.

"Get dressed, then, and I can take you home."

"Actually..." I hugged the towel closer to my body, brushing up against the bruises and causing me to wince. "There's somewhere else I need to be."

"Oh, right. Where?"

I could tell she was finding it hard to repress her curious side.

"Tell you what, if I tell you about this and sate your curiousity you let me swear as much as I godamned please."

"You, Bella, have yourself a deal."

"Right, well I have to be at Forks High. You see, there's this guy..."


	8. You're My Good Feeling

**A/N:**

**I've left you way too long without a bitchy Bella fix, and you really deserve one after the way I broke off the end of the last chapter before any good shit with Edward. Sorry about that. Just gotta keep you lot coming back for more :D**

**Here is where I would usually plug something (new co-story written with jezzeria, "Satin and Revolvers") or dedicate this to someone (to jezz who amuses me always with her dirty mind and to you guys that keep reading my work), but instead I'm going to just leave you with the mental image of a half naked Robert Pattinson getting friendly with Jackson Rathbourne's tattoo. If none of you know of this tattoo, Google it ladies. Soon. **

**Well, I guess that kind of was a dedication to jezzeria... who'd have thought? :P But she deserves it because I'm ditching her :( And it also goes out to Kim and Fer who I am missing chatting with over at Twilighted. Keep your eyes peeled for this story over there (hopefully)!**

**Anyway, this chapter is just a little something from me to me in reality. Just as a gift for the end of all my exams! **

_Stephenie Meyer owns all the characters, but luckily not the actors. We can use them in our imaginations without having to dedicate __**(drool)**__. _

**Now, to the main feature... with a surprise in store at the end... **

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Chapter Seven

_Bella POV_

Alice trilled her own little monologue, as if I'd known her for years, all the way to Forks High. It was easier than I would have ever imagined to block out her fucking annoying little voice.

It became background noise as I took in my surroundings, so I knew where the Cullen house was when I picked up the dirty clothes Emmett's adoptive mother had insisted on washing for me.

Esme, that was her name. Odd woman. As small as Alice, with the same amount of energy. Though, with age, it seemed that there came control. I only hoped Alice was learning a little something from the woman. If the younger version continued at her level of excitement she would pass out from the bloody over exertion.

The woodland was especially dense around the Cullen grounds, it only confirmed my earlier ideas that Doctor Cullen was a rich ass bastard. It also made me wonder if I should become better friends with his adoptive children...

I shook the daydream of me getting overly close to Emmett out of my head, and I then realised we were nearing the school. I felt an involuntary blush, the worst damn kind, creep up my neck as I secretly loathed the trashy side of myself.

Why did it always come out at the worst possible time?

I was going to see Edward, for fucks sake!

He was so much more important than some random guy I had just met. Even if I would usually fuck guys like Emmett, I felt like I could have so much more with Edward.

The revelation kind of scared the crap out of me... but in a really good way.

I began tapping a beat with my palms on my knees as my legs jiggled uncontrollably. This was only worsened when I saw the digital time displayed on the dashboard. Half past nine. Oh holy shit. I resisted the urge to bite my fingernails, a habit I thought I'd given up when I was fourteen, as my hands clenched into fists. We had to be getting closer.

I was right. We were pulling into the slip road that would take you to the high school. Thank fuck for being right! Though this ability never seemed to comfort me, I was still as jumpy as ever as we pulled into the parking lot.

He was there. Just like he said he would be. A breath I didn't know I'd been holding gushed out of me in pure relief. I heard Alice giggle, and my blush just freaking increased as I felt like a complete douche. A douche attached to a guy. This so wasn't me.

His silver Volvo had been parked neatly a couple of spaces away from my monstrosity. In the wake of everything that had happened, I had completely forgotten about the best present I had ever received.

It still made me grin that I had caused so much damage to the walkway and the bench, and no one had bothered to tow me. Lazy bastards. You gotta love Forks.

Alice killed the engine a row away from Edward, turning to look at me with a shit-eating grin on her face. I knew she was about to make a smart ass remark, but I was too jazzed to see Edward to even give a crap.

"Now, Bella," she began almost knowingly. Fucking annoying little pixie. "You had better behave yourself..." but then her voice gave out on her. She couldn't do serious anymore. Instead, she let out a high pitched squeal. "You have to tell me everything that happens! Here! Here's my number!"

A pen appeared out of thin air and she began scribbling away on my left palm. Before I had any chance to complain, she was done; the pen disappearing almost in front of my eyes. Damn, she was fast.

"Hold on, Alice. You're acting as if I fucking know you. And I don't. Not even a freaking little bit."

"But," she seemed shocked. As if she hadn't been questioned in a long time.

"Hey, no offense or anything, but I'm right. And I don't want to piss you off, you've been so nice and shit, but I feel like I have to point it out."

"Know what, Bella?" The voice was back. Damnit. I thought I'd left her stunned for good. "I think you are going to call me. And, when you do, you're going to eat those words. Because I will know you. Very well. And I'll be seeing you very soon."

"You're right, Miss Psychic Bitch, I'll be collecting my clothes tomorrow."

"No, I mean, other than that."

"Yeah, sure, mhmm." I wanted to placate her without causing an argument.

"Just, listen to me Bella. You may be skeptical, and more prone to listening to your own gut, but I'm right more often than you." She chuckled darkly. It was fucking creepy.

"I'll call you later then, tell your family thanks a fuck load. For everything."

"Are you sure you're going to be okay, with what happened?" It came out of nowhere, this concern. I'd almost forgotten about the whole pissing incident.

"I can cope, always have. And, if I feel a bout of she shakes, you'll be the first to know. I wouldn't dare confide in any other bastard."

"Thanks Bella, now you'd better go. That guy of yours is looking a little startled."

I laughed at her turn of phrase as I lumbered out of the car, fucking ungraceful as ever.

Ignoring Edward behind me I prayed he hadn't seen the shameful affair that was my own damn clumsiness, instead focusing on slamming the car door shut and raising my hand to salute Alice as she drove off. I saw another shit-eating grin, the widest I'd ever seen, in the rear view mirror, before I turned around.

He had already begun to walk towards me, I closed the gap between us and stopped abruptly. What was the protocol here? We had barely had any contact, though I could remember every single time we touched; from the stray lock of hair he had tucked behind my ear, to the kiss on my forehead, to the hug I had never wanted to end. This Edward prick was powerful, so powerful I was nervous to be around him.

I didn't have much time to ponder my options as he continued to walk towards me and pulled me into another strong embrace. Fuck. My body melted into his arms, fitting perfectly. Two halves of one whole... but that was ridiculous. There was no freaking way that was possible. I barely knew him.

Though, my heart yelled at my mind; telling me not to be such a dense bitch and to go with the flow. So, for once, I listened to my godamned heart.

Then, I hugged him back.

I didn't know how long we stayed like that, my arms around his waist with my face buried in his chest while his own arms encircled me; but as soon as we broke apart it felt too fucking soon. There was a warmth that left me with his arms, and I knew I would never be the same without him ever again.

The gentle gesture of tucking my hair back was repeated, though the smile on his face suddenly turned sour. Shit wanking cocksucker! Newton! I had forgotten the bloody state of my face, too damn focused was I on meeting Edward. I didn't prepare him. Now he was worried.

He cupped my face in between his hands as his warm fingers lightly traced the painful lacerations. I gasped back multiple expletives as he examined the damage. Usually, I wouldn't have worried about cussing in front of anyone. But, for him, I wanted to be the best version of me possible... if I had one, somewhere.

"Bella," his voice was as soft as his fingers, as if he were afraid the volume would break me. Fucking concerned. I couldn't have this.

"Edward." I looked into his deep green eyes, picking out the different patterns in hazel and gold as I prepared myself to speak. "It's nothing. Honest. I'm fine. So, what did you want to meet me for?"

But I knew he wasn't going to let this drop. Shit. My mind was drawing blanks, not able to think of a suitable excuse. I couldn't tell him the truth.

Newton might be a dickhead. No, wait. He definitely was a dickhead, but he was still Edward's family. And I didn't want to be the one to tell Edward, a guy I could possibly have something special with, that his extended family was screwed up. Almost as royally as my own.

"You can tell me, if you're in any trouble, I promise I will do everything possible to help you out." He leaned forward and placed another chaste kiss on my forehead.

The sentiment was nice but I couldn't help thinking of so many other things, better things, that he could be doing with those lips. Those full, sensuous lips that made a girl 'gasm just a little bit when they broke into a smile.

"I promise, I'm fine. I'm not in any trouble, so you can just quit fucking worrying!"

The f-bomb dropped from my mouth before I had chance to stop it. But then I thought fuck it. If this is going to work, I need to be myself. All of me. Take it or leave it. And, be it good or bad, my language was not clean. Any prick unhappy with that could piss on my grave for all I cared. Fuckers. It wouldn't be the Bella show without a little cussin'!

I stopped myself from smiling as I was snapped out of yet another daydream. What the fuck was wrong with me? I had the attention span of a bastard fruit fly. Even when a gorgeous guy, apparently not frightened by my less than tasteful attitude, was standing right in front of me! I needed to get a fucking grip!

"I know you think I'm going to let this drop, but I'm not. Okay. Just so you know, we will talk about this again. But, for now... I want to tell you why I brought you here."

He stroked my cheek with his fingers one more time before dropping his hands from my face. Instead, they flew to my own hands. His long fingers were entwined with mine, the same fingers that had me mesmerised not so long ago. I smiled at the memory as he pulled me forwards, towards his pretty little car. With any other guy, I would have told them they had a pansy car; but Edward just seemed to make the silver Volvo so much fucking more attractive.

As he leaned down to open the driver door, I tilted my head to the side to check out his rear. I couldn't believe I hadn't thought of doing this sooner. But, God, was it worth the wait. There was only one word to describe an ass like Edward's... squeezable.

I just wanted to reach forward and plant a hand right there on one of the cheeks being basically fucking presented to me. It took a whole load of willpower, shit loads more than I ever thought I possessed, but I managed to restrain myself.

Averting my eyes quickly as he stood, Edward had to cough to regain my attention. And when I did finally look, hoping my embarrassing goddamn blush had gone down, I was completely caught off guard. I would have said speechless, but that wasn't the whole truth.

"What the actual fuck?" I couldn't help myself. It had to be said.

"I thought you might like them," he stepped forward and handed to me the things that had induced such shock. A small bouquet of red roses. My favourite. Christ, this guy was good.

"Well, yeah. They're gorgeous... and they happen to be my favourite flower. This is bitching, Edward. Are you this smooth with all the ladies?"

I winked, trying to pull off my lame ass joke; but it only caused Edward to blush furiously. His cheeks turning a shade of red that matched my flowers. It was beautiful, his insecurity, and I found myself placing a cool hand onto his bloody burning face.

"So," I had to break the silence. "I'm guessing, from your reaction, you don't do this often." His face burned even hotter under my hand. "Well, you know what?" I leaned in real fucking close as I whispered into his left ear, removing my hand as I did so. "That just makes it even more goddamned special."

His smile was unearthly as I glanced at him, our faces so close that our noses were almost touching. There was an opportunity in front of me, literally, that I could not pass up. Otherwise I would regret this and call myself a pussy for the rest of my life.

So, I went for it. I placed my hand back onto his slowly cooling cheek as I leaned my lips forward just a little bit. Edward mirrored my movement; bringing himself closer, but still keeping us that little bit apart. Then, it was my turn. I knew I would have to instigate this.

I closed the distance between our lips and gently pressed mine to his closed mouth. His lips were even more wonderfully fucking soft than I could have ever imagined.

The pressure was increasing, he began pushing against me harder. Wanting. I was more than happy to return the favour. I linked my arms around the back of his neck and pulled his face closer to mine as my tongue gently darted across his bottom lip. Allowing me entry, his lips parted and his tongue welcomed my own in a knee-buckling embrace.

Too soon it was over, leaving me gasping for fucking breath. I was liking this bastard more with each passing second.

I opened my eyes, to see if he was enjoying this as much as I was, and was more than pleasantly surprised with the freaking smirk plastered on his face. Just a little crooked, more than a lot orgasmic. It was a better version than the dazzling smile he had presented to me not so long ago, and I couldn't help but wonder what his post-coital grin would look like...

I matched his smile with one of my own as his hands found their way to my hips. He pulled me towards him, and our lips met for the second time. Just fucking better every moment. Though this kiss was softer, gentler, with less tongue; it was still bloody magnificent.

"So, what were your other plans?" I gasped as his lips left mine as suddenly as before. As if he were playing me, smart cunt.

"Oh."

A small chuckle escaped from him, passing his warm breath over my cheek. I shivered as it made contact, goosebumps covered my skin as his gentle breath caressed my face. Minty fresh, he had planned for this...

"I had something I wanted to show you."

"Other than the flowers?" I raised an eyebrow expectantly.

"Yeah, other than flowers." He chuckled once more. "Come on," his hand pulled me towards the passenger door. "Get in."

Neither of us said a word as he drove. I don't know what he was doing, but I was busy trying to fucking figure him out. What was he up to?

We soon stopped. In a little lane off the side of the main road passing through the forest. The trees were thick around us, clustered and conspiring.

"You're not planning on chopping me up into fucking bits and feeding me to the woodland creatures, are you?"

I laughed to cover the note of seriousness. I knew deep down Edward was a good guy, but that didn't stop me bringing up bad past experiences. Nice guys have turned out to be bastards too.

"No!" Edward laughed as he looked at me with these big wide pissing eyes. As if he had never heard such a ridiculous thing.

"Well, that's okay then." I winked.

"I have something I wanted to show you. It's the place I tend to come to get away from everything. Only you and the person who built this with me have ever been here."

"Built? You can build shit? Lead the way, I've gotta see this!" I grinned and slipped out of the car.

When he walked to me, our hands found each other once more, and he was pulling me through the freaking wilderness. I so wasn't outdoorsy; but, if Edward was there, I could start to like me a bit of nature.

Suddenly, we came upon a little clearing. It was fucking amazing, filled with flowers and long grass, and I swore I could even hear a little stream babbling in the distance. Even though the flowers were all closed, hiding from the night, the effect was still a strong one. I instantly loved this place. I never wanted to leave.

"Wow, thank you for showing me this."

"It's okay," he grinned once more and tugged on my hand. "But I haven't even gotten to the best part yet."

"Oh, right. That thing you built."

I didn't want to drag my eyes away from the little clearing, but followed as Edward continued to pull me forwards. He took me to the edge of the clearing. I wasn't looking where we were going, so bumped into his back when he stopped all of a bloody sudden.

As I looked, I was shocked. It was a tree house, a two story tree house. With a bottom floor on the ground right in front of me, a little rope ladder leading up into the branches of the oak tree, and a completely concealed top floor.

"You really fucking built this?"

"Yeah, the summer before I left Forks for Chicago with my parents. Me and my best friend built it. Every time I used to visit, we would come here. We haven't seen much of each other lately, but we leave messages in the tree house. I come here a lot. To, think and stuff."

"Shit, Edward. It's fuckawesome. Can I... can I see inside?"

Edward and I spent two hours at the tree house. He told me all these animated stories about his childhood while I listened. I wanted to know everything about him. Even stories about him and his cousin, little family feuds, what his old house had looked like, what the one in Chicago looked like, what his favourite childhood game was. All the trivial details that somehow seemed so damn important when coming from him.

I was showed around the tree house, all of the three little rooms upstairs, while he told me things about each room. Why they were special to him.

When he told me about his parents, Elizabeth and Edward, I didn't pry. Wanting him to tell me it in his own time, though tonight wasn't the right time for such sad tales. I didn't want to see his fucking heart break. He'd had a good life, before whatever the hell had happened.

We were sat on the small balcony facing the meadow when I realised the time. Charlie was sure to be giving birth to freaking kittens by now. I hadn't told him I was going out after school, I hadn't even been home because of dickhead Newton.

"Crap, Edward, I think I'd better go." His face dropped. "Can we do this again?" I added quickly, before he thought I didn't like him. He was the best guy I'd ever met.

"Of course. When were you thinking?"

"Maybe tomorrow? After school? I'll need something to cheer me up." The thought of Leah was a very fucking disturbing one.

"Sure. What's your number? So I can call you."

"Here," I typed my number into his cell. "And, could you please take me back to Forks High to get my truck?"

"It would be my pleasure."

He helped me up from my seated position, held my hand as I struggled like a douche down the rope ladder, held my hand as he led me back across the meadow, not even letting go to drive his car. As he dropped me off at Forks High and we shared another kiss that left me gasping, I realised I couldn't wait to call Alice. I needed a girl I could share shit with. Who else was there?

I grinned the whole way home, and was even nice to Charlie, as I apologised for my absence and picked up the phone to give Alice the details.

_EPOV_

I parked my car in the driveway after getting home from one of the best nights of my life, and let my mind play through everything that had happened.

Bella was one of the most interesting girls I had ever met, and I still barely knew her. But it wasn't just her mystery that enticed me. It felt as if there could be something really special between us, if only she could open up.

I shouted a hello to my Aunt Susan and Uncle Larry as I made my way up the stairs to the room they had given to me. It wasn't big, it didn't have it's own little bathroom like I used to have, but it was comfortable enough. I flipped the light switch and did a double take.

"Sup cuz."

Mike was lounging on my bed, grinning. Obviously waiting for me. A bag of open chips lay next to him and helped add to the mess he'd created on my blue bedspread. Bella was right, he was a dick.

"Hey Mike, what do you want?"

I cut to the chase, I didn't want him here any longer than he had to be. I wanted to be alone with my memories of my evening, and my cousin was definitely spoiling the mood. I slung my grey coat over the back of my desk chair as I waited for his reply.

"I know where you went tonight," his accusation came after he had finished crunching through a handful of chips.

"What, are you following me now or something? I thought you only did that to your girlfriends." I laughed at the obvious shock on his face as I leaned against the small window opposite the bed.

"Shut the fuck up, Ed." He grinned as I cringed at the nickname I had always despised.

"Get out of my room, Mike." I wasn't going to put up with his crap anymore. He looked high, no surprise there.

"Like hell you can tell me what to do, you're just an intruding bastard in my family. But, while you're here, I'm going to make shit real clear for you. Stay away from that Bella bitch. She's no good for you, Ed."

"As soon as this year ends, I'll be long gone and you won't have to worry about me showing your parents what a screw up you really are. Until then, get out of my room and don't interfere in my life. I'm not scared of you, Mike. You talk big, but I've never seen you follow through in all your life. Except that time you shit yourself."

"Fuck off!" He yelled over my laughter. "Of course I'm good to my word. Just ask that hoare you saw tonight."

"What are you talking about?"

"Those bruises all over her? I'm sure you saw them, Bella gives it away to anyone all the time. Guess I taught her good." A grin spread across Mike's face that I wanted to smack off.

"You... you fucking did that to her?" I couldn't contain myself anymore.

"Of course," he laughed. "Bella's easy, but she always teased me. Now, she'll stay away from you... and I finally got to see into those pants."

That's when I launched myself at him. I couldn't contain myself. How did he think he could get away with something like this? Bella wasn't a bad person, but my cousin really was. And I was going to make him pay.

I landed on top of him and began punching him in the face. Over and over and over. I couldn't find it in me to stop. I didn't want to stop. He deserved this, so he was getting it. Punishment for hurting someone I cared about. Someone who never deserved all the shit I'm sure she went through.

I had never been this angry in my entire life.

Through the fog of rage, I began to hear yelling. Noise that had been blocked out by my utter focus on beating Mike's face to a pulp.

He was screaming, like a girl. But that wasn't the only sound. I was bellowing too. Louder and louder every time my fist connected with a part of his now bloody face.

Before I knew it, I was in the air. I was being tossed to the other side of the room. Aunt Susan and Uncle Larry were there. Confused and angry, but only with me. Damn Mike always got away with everything.

Aunt Susan was bent over her son, gently stroking his hair as the tears flowed steadily from her eyes. Her sobs were becoming heavier, but they were being drowned out by something more powerful. Uncle Larry was stood over me, my back against the radiator, as he yelled. I had never heard him yell before, but there wasn't enough time to stay shocked.

Through the sobs and the repetition of the yelling, "What the fuck do you think you are doing, Edward? My sister didn't bring you up this way!", I managed to collect myself and formulate a plan. I certainly wasn't welcome here anymore.

"Why don't you ask him?" I yelled over my uncle as I stood up from the crumpled heap I formerly was on the floor. "Ask him why he likes to do drugs and beat up girls. And, while you're doing that, you can say goodbye. I'm finding somewhere else to crash."

Ignoring whatever else was being shouted in my direction, I pulled a large black rucksack out of the bottom of my wardrobe and stuffed some of the clothes inside that were on the hangers above it. I quickly slung it over my shoulder, ran down the stairs, picked up the keys to the only thing I really owned from the bowl near the front door and never looked back.

There was only one place I could go now. The only real friend I had in Forks. We had known each other for years, our mothers had been friends through high school. We had built that damn tree house together.

When his mother died, I came back for him. When both my parents died, he had come to Chicago to see me. The best friend a guy could ever have.

I pressed down on the accelerator hard as I headed towards the Reservation. Knowing that, if anyone would be happy to see me, it would be Jacob Black.


	9. Bad Timing

**A/N:**

**This might be the last one for a bit, and I'm really sorry about that. I'm going away to work, so am not sure how much fanfic time I'm going to be getting :(**

**Fret not! However! Because I will be keeping notebooks and making sure I have lots and lots to give you guys when I get back.**

**This one is for jezzeria and everyone over at Wide Awake Rehab (****.****). I suggest to all that have been introduced and irrevocably changed by the story "Wide Awake" by Angst Goddess to join the site, to all those who haven't heard of this story... go and read it now!**

_SM owns all, I just tag along._

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Chapter Eight

_Bella POV_

I wasn't fucking looking forward to school this morning. I owed it to Charlie to go, but that didn't mean I had to like it.

There was only one way I could think to make my life a little easier. I may have used him before, he may think I was using him again, but today I needed some Jacob love. And I swore to myself that I wasn't going to overstep the freaking mark.

My truck chugged into the Black's front yard. Someone would have heard my arrival, in a truck that used to belong to the family. But I so wasn't planning on waiting around. The only bastard you can ever rely on is yourself, and I'd known that for a long time.

I ran to the front door, gave three short sharp taps and promised Jake in my mind that if he didn't come and see me soon I would just charge right on into his fucking house.

Luckily, I needn't have thought of a backup plan. I heard Billy's chair squeak as he wheeled himself forward and pulled open the door.

"Morning Billy, how's shit?" I grinned as I stepped over the threshold.

"S'all good, Bella. Nice to see you back. Jake's just upstairs."

"Thanks..." I waved and headed up the small wooden staircase.

"Just to warn you, he's got a friend with him."

"And you don't think I can be fucking nice?" I laughed. "No worries, Billy. I won't scare the kid off. I'll play good Bella."

I ran up the stairs, two at a time, and knocked on Jake's bedroom door. Without waiting for him to answer, I threw it open and jumped up onto his bed.

"Morning, bitch. I hear you've been having yourself a gay little sleepover. Why doesn't my best friend introduce me to this new prick. Are you afraid he's too hot and I'll steal him?"

I continued jumping as I closed my eyes and yelled into the air.

Suddenly, someone launched themselves at me. I landed hard back onto the bed, opened my eyes and grinned up at Jake. I ruffled his hair before he could pin down my hands and laughed as he squealed.

"I knew you couldn't stay away, Bells."

"Of course, Jake. You're my dick forever. Remember?"

We both laughed out loud, until we heard a small cough from the corner of Jake's box sized bedroom.

"Aren't you going to introduce me, you mean bastard?"

"Sure sure," Jake sat up and leaned back on his knees. "Bells, this is my best friend. Edward. Edward, this is my best friend Bella."

I looked away from Jake's smiling face to see Edward, my Edward, cousin to the dickhead Newton, standing with his mouth agape against the wardrobe near the window. The very same wardrobe my underwear had been thrown onto not even a week ago. Fuck.

"Bella and I have met before, Jacob."

"Oh," he looked confused. "Well, then there's no awkwardness. Right?"

"Sure, Jake. No awkwardness." I smiled at Edward. "So, how do you two fucks know each other?"

"Our moms were friends way back in high school. We've known each other forever." Edward smiled and perched on the edge of the bed.

"I've been trying to get rid of him for years!"

Jake grinned and launched himself at Edward, pulling him into a pile in the center of the bed. Only a few feet from me.

"How do you know Jacob, Bella?"

"My dad and Billy met at the end of high school. This girl my dad was seeing cheated on him with Billy..."

"Renee!" Jake screamed and laughed. "What a bitch."

"I know." I chuckled. "Anyway, they both found something to laugh about when Renee got caught with the sons of the headmasters of both the Rez and Forks High. At the same fucking time. God, she got kicked out of school for that. And wasn't allowed into the Reservation high. Freaking hilarious. Billy and Charlie have been friends ever since. Me and Jake were brought up together too."

Edward laughed as he looked up at me, his face squished under Jake's huge arm. God, how badly I just wanted to lean down and kiss his bastard face like there was no fucking tomorrow.

"So, Bells, not that I'm not glad you're here but... why are you here?" Jake was so confused he let Edward slip out from his grasp.

"Well, I wasn't much looking forward to school today. I was hoping for some moral support. Superman wasn't available, so you were my only option." I grinned.

"I heard about all that shit yesterday. Fuck, Bells, you are one tough cookie."

"Thanks, Jake, but I'd rather not relive the crap that was my day."

"But you kicked ass! The Bells I know would want to brag about that shit!" He grinned at Edward. "Her half sister stabbed her right through the hand with a pen, and Bells just went all psycho on her ass and slapped her in the middle of biology. She then stormed out and didn't even bother coming back to school."

"Now the dicks at the Rez are going to expect a show like that every fucking day." I tried to brush off Jake's words, but Edward wasn't going to let this one go. Not like last night.

"So you have a sister?"

"Half sister..."

"And she has a half brother too!" Jake chimed in. Perfect timing as per freaking usual.

"Yeah, its all boring crap. No worries. I'll fill you in another time." I desperately wanted to close this conversation, and fast.

"As for moral support," Jake seemed to be catching on. "You will have two body guards today. Edward's transferring over from Forks high."

"Really?" I turned to look at him, unable to contain the shit-eating grin that spread like wildfire onto my face.

"When Jake says transferring, he means I'm coming to sit in on some classes for the day and see if the Rez is any better than Forks High. Technically I'm not supposed to be there, but who cares. Right?"

He smiled his orgasmic smile at me. Edward must have known what fucking effect he always had, he had to have learned by now how powerful that bastard thing was. And yet he was doing it again... right in front of Jake.

"Bells will have to show you round for the day. Your in her year anyways."

"Not that I'll be doing much showing, I'm pretty new there myself you stupid prick!" I laughed at Jake's forgetfulness.

"Oh, yeah, right." He laughed.

"Should we get going then?" Edward stood up and leaned back against the small window.

"Sure sure," Jake grinned. "I'll ride with Bella and you can follow us in. So you don't get lost!" He laughed. "Edward's always had a talent for getting lost."

"That was only... three times..." Edward blushed. Fucking adorable insecurities.

"It's alright," I grinned at him. "I'll keep you safe."

I winked when I was sure Jacob wasn't looking, causing Edward's gorgeous face to turn an even deeper shade of red. I tried to resist the images in my head, of me pushing Jake out of his room to ravage Edward right on the bed I was sitting on, but it was damn hard.

"Right!" Jake jumped up and opened his bedroom door wide. "Let's get going then!"

Jake led Edward out of his room, closely followed by me. As we made I way down the stairs, I couldn't control myself. I leaned forward and smacked one of Edward's delicious ass cheeks. Lingering for a while, admiring the softness, and finishing off with a small pinch. I heard a strangled chuckled and smiled, he fucking liked it. Brilliant.

I was forced to endure Jake's random and incessant babbling all the way to school, while all the time freaking wishing I was with Edward. Wondering what he was doing, how he was feeling, what he was thinking... just a little bit of the pissing girl inside of me hoping that he was thinking about me. At least some of the time anyway.

As we pulled into the parking lot, the red bricks screaming unwanted memories into my ears, I was inundated with stares from every bastard that passed my truck. None of them even fucking knew me to judge me, but I guess history goes a long way with pricks in a small town. They were always going to be more on Leah's side than my own.

Edward pulled up right next to me, and filled me with more relief than I'd ever thought I'd freaking needed. His mere presence blocked out all the shit that was being thrown at me from all directions, in forms of whispers and stares.

Through the first two lessons of the day, everything was fine. I wouldn't go so far as to say I was enjoying school, but at least it was a fuckload more bearable than it had been before.

Every person I passed seemed to know about the incident with Leah, and loved speaking loudly about how much of a bitch I was just so I would hear. Edward's presence with me only caused more confusion. Girls were attracted, guys were threatened, all reactions amusing me to my bloody core.

Though, with Edward's hand entwined with mine, the rest of the world didn't seem to exist any more. What the hell was this bastard doing to me? I never wanted to fucking let go of him.

That was, until we got to Biology. I stormed past the dick teacher to the back of the class and hoped to God that Edward was following. By-passing Leah completely, I made my way to the only available desk, almost far enough back that I couldn't even make out the features of the boring fucker taking the lesson.

Amazingly, I survived the hour torture that was Biology. I must have had a guardian freaking angel on my shoulder, probably in the form of Edward. My actions from yesterday weren't even questioned. And Leah ignored me completely. All in all, the lesson was a success.

I glared at Leah on my way out of the classroom, after being dismissed early by a teacher that seemed barely able to fucking do that right, and stalked out to my truck. Edward continued to follow. I was starting to think he might be a keeper... until he said something so bleeding ridiculous that the shit hit the fan.

"You know, you kind of look like your sister."

"What the fuck did you just say?" I felt as if he'd just spat in my fucking face.

"You share the same eyes, is all. Did you get them from your mother?"

I glared at him, the bastard too stupid to know he had just immersed himself in a pile of crap that there was no way he would be able to dig himself out.

"You have the same mother... don't you?" He didn't know when to quit.

"Shut. The. Fuck. Up."

"What?" Edward's eyes grew wide as he realised how angry I was.

"Shut the fuck up and stop talking about my fucking mother. That bitch is an egg donor, end of. She means absolutely fucking nothing to me."

"Oh..." a crease appeared on his forehead. "I'm really sorry, Bella. I didn't mean to..."

"Just. Stop. Talking. Now."

"Right."

"Do you want to ditch this shit hole for lunch? Your treat?" I forced a smile as I attempted to change the conversation. I didn't like the direction the old one was headed.

"My treat?" He laughed. "Only if I get to learn a little something about the mystery that is Bella Swan. I spent the whole of last night talking about myself. I went home feeling like a douche. It's totally your turn today."

"Hmm..." I narrowed my eyes. "As long as I get to change the subject if you start chatting uncomfortable shit."

"Deal." He laughed. "So, my car or yours?" He winked. Smooth.

"Yours," I raised an eyebrow. "Always yours, baby."

He laughed as he took my hand and led me to his silver steed. I grinned at him as he held the door open for me, he was seeming less bloody real by the second. I was beginning to wonder if I was in a coma and had made up everything. Sue being my mom, moving to Forks, Edward.

Then, I realised; I would so prefer to be living in a craptastic dystopia with Edward, rather than in a paradise without ever having met him. Fuck. What a revelation.

We were pulling out of the school parking lot when someone dove in front of Edward's car. As they stood up from the floor and grinned, I cursed Jacob Black with all the profanities I had in me. Why, why, did he always have to show up at the wrong damn moments? Inconvenient dick.

"Aw, were you two gonna ditch without even telling me?"

Edward had rolled down his window to speak to the interfering bastard. I wish he had, instead, opted to fucking run him the hell over.

"Yeah, wank for brains, that was the general idea." I shouted as I gave him the finger.

He ignored me and slid into the backseat, laying his legs up and across the neat black leather interior. I was sure there was going to be scratches when he got out, and Jake would never freaking pay for the damage.

"Where we off then? Bella's not taking you to some deserted location to rob you of your innocence, is she Edward?" He laughed.

"Fuck off, Jake." I growled as I swiveled in my chair.

"She does this with all my friends. Steals them away from me and them fucks them senseless. Quil, Embry, Sam... she is so hard to keep on a short leash!" Jake laughed, crudely as I blushed.

"We were just going to get some lunch Jake..." Edward was trying to be the voice of reason, but Jake was in his own little world. Spouting a monologue no one, especially the furiously blushing me, wanted to fucking hear.

"I thought for a long time she would never get around to sharing that shit with me. But you proved me wrong Bells. Thank God for that. You made my whole fucking year last week!"

Jake's voice was too loud to drown out. I knew Edward had heard every freaking thing. Bollocks! There was no getting out of this bastard mess.

I turned to look at Edward, but his eyes were averted from me. Instead, they were focused hard onto the black top in front of his wheels as his knuckles were turned white from the force his was using to grab the pissing steering wheel.

"I'm not so hungry anymore. Maybe we should all just get out." Edward killed the engine, but still didn't look me in the eyes. Shit.

"Edward, I..."

"Let's just get out." He interrupted with a sternness I never thought I would have heard in his voice.

"Sure sure, I see some of the guys over there anyway." Jake bailed out of the car, unaware of the fucking crap he had just thrown me into. "Hey, guys!" I heard him yell as he ran away. If he weren't so damn ignorant, I would have called him a coward.

"Edward, I..."

"Did you?" He interrupted once more.

"What?"

"You know what. Did you..." he took a deep breath. "Did you sleep with Jacob?"

I knew I couldn't lie. I didn't want to. All I wanted was for this whole thing with Edward to be new and exciting and right. I had lied before, and it had all blown up in my fucking face. It wasn't worth it with Edward. There was too much at stake.

"Yes." I whispered as my eyes involuntarily dropped to my lap.

"I think you'd better get out of my car right now, Bella."

"But..."

"Now, Bella."

His voice was even tighter now. Strained with the effort of keeping himself contained. As if he knew, if his restraints dropped, there wouldn't be a good outcome.

At that moment, I could see some of myself in him. Though I had a lot less boundaries that I kept on myself. It was like, I was the open version of what Edward secretly was. I couldn't blame his reaction, I knew mine would have been exactly the same.

"Oh, okay." I could feel the tears begin to form in the corners of my eyes. "Will I hear from you later? Please... say I will..."

"I don't know, Bella."

Edward whispered as he closed the window, no longer able to hear my pleas. The silent urgency in my eyes as I begged him not to leave me like this.

I couldn't even find it in me to swear as I meekly slid out of Edward's car and watched him quickly start the engine and gun it out of the parking lot. Leaving nothing behind him but my broken guilty heart and some marks on the black top.


	10. Mix Of Emotions

**A/N:**

**This one is all for jezzeria. My IQNGCS and bity for life. I puffyheart you always and will be here for you whenever you need.**

**Fuck work right now, this needs to be written. It may be angst, but that is all I'm really feeling right now guys. And it fits. Though it isn't very long. More soon, I promise ******

_Twilight and its characters are figments of someone else's imagination._

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Chapter Nine.

_Bella POV_

My whole world had shattered. In that fucking instant that his car had disappeared around the corner and out of my sight I knew that nothing would be the same. All because of Jake.

Though that wasn't completely fair.

Jake may have been an unknowing bastard, but I was the bitch who had led him on.

My brain wasn't feeling rational enough to figure that out at first. Initially, I wanted blood. And I was sure as hell it was going to be the prick that was supposed to be my best friend.

I charged across the parking lot. I knew where I was headed. Jake was in the middle of the guys, holding them a captive audience with his fucking clown-like antics. Dick. At least I could feel comfort from the fact that his friends would all piss themselves after he got beat up by a girl. Especially a girl as small as me.

Bastards never thought I could take a punch, but I always proved them wrong.

"Jacob Black!" I bellowed as loud as I fucking could as I pushed through the pack of guys.

They all started catcalling and wolf whistling straight away. I wasn't in the mood. If anything, their reactions only intensified my steadily increasing anger.

I clenched my hands into fists as I launched myself at my confused friend. If he didn't know what he had just done to me, I was about to make it pretty damn obvious.

My left hand grabbed onto the front of Jake's shirt as the other began to repeatedly smash into his tanned face, a face that I had wanted to kiss not so long ago. I wouldn't manage shoving him onto the floor, but I was planning on doing enough fucking damage that he would crumble to his knees on his own.

The whistling and yelling had stopped. An unearthly silence enveloped me as I continued to throw all my weight behind my punches and into Jake's face.

I glanced down.

Big freaking mistake.

Jake's face was bloody. I'd cut his lip and made his nose bleed. Both his eyes were starting to go black. But he wasn't fighting back. His eyebrows were knotted together in confusion as he silently began to cry.

Fuck.

As soon as the tears started to trail down his face, he had me. I began to cry too. The sobs cracking the silence and weakening my anger.

I dropped onto the floor and curled into a ball, hugging my knees with all my might. What the fuck was wrong with me?

The hard gravel scratched against my face as my deep sobs shook my body and took over my thoughts completely.

"Bells?" The soft voice questioned as a warm hand rested on my heaving arm.

I couldn't respond. I could barely hear it. All I knew was that there was pain in the voice, pain that I caused.

The warm hand was moved under my head as I was picked up from the floor and cradled. The giant arms clinging onto me with all their might, their owner wanting desperately to help while all I had done was fuck him over.

Silence still encompassed the air as I was carried away from the pissing scene I'd created, though I couldn't find it in me to freaking care. The only thoughts in my head circling around three people, only two of the people actually mattered.

Gently, I was placed on a leather seat. I knew instantly that I was in my truck, my baby, but I still didn't fucking care.

The engine was started and I was taken away.

I paid no attention to anything. Nothing mattered anymore.

The only thing I wanted was someone who had left me.

Once again, I was being carried. Through a front door, up some stairs. Then, I was released. I was on a bed. Even without looking, I knew I was at my second home.

"I hate to interrupt the self loathing session, but I really think you have some fucking explaining to do."

And he was right. I owed him that at least.

"Jake, I'm sorry." I sniffed as I looked up. Ignoring the freaking wreck my face must have looked. All red, blotchy and wet.

"It's not just him who needs an apology."

A figure stepped into the bedroom, arms folded tightly across his chest.

"Edward," my breath hitched in my throat as I saw the pain on his face.

"Isabella."

His greeting was blunt, formal, lacking any warmth. God, I had fucked everything up. I couldn't believe what a damn fool I'd been.

My repairs had to be fast, and extensive, but I was determined to sort this shit out. If not for my sake, for theirs.


	11. Simple Distraction

**A/N:**

**Sorry this has taken me an age to get around to, but I'm finally back home and the writing bug has bitten me once more (though it took it's freaking time doing it!).**

**I know that the last chapter was really short, and it may seem a little pointless to some of you but, trust me, it did need to be written. I'm going somewhere with all this shit – I swear.**

**Anyway, this is 3k for all you people that have been waiting. To show you how much I love you, EPOV may be featured in the next chapter :P And the next chapter will be longer again. They are all going to be epics from this point onwards.**

_Twilight and all it's characters are copyright of SM, the expletives are (unfortunately) all me._

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Chapter 10.

_Bella POV_

"Hey Bella!" Alice's voice trilled into my ear as if she'd known I was calling.

"Alice, I've fucked everything up." I started bluntly.

"Aw, Bella... what happened?" The instant warmth in her voice had the desired effect. Comfort. The shit I so desperately needed.

"God, I don't even know where to start with all this crap," I sighed as I leaned my head against the wall next to the front door.

"Grab your coat. I'll be there in five minutes."

Before I could even question the probability that she would actually arrive on time, I heard a dial tone in my ear. The bitch had just hung up on me!

Embracing the self loathing from my fuck awful day, I trudged upstairs and flopped face first onto my bed. I couldn't find it in me to give a shit about anything anymore... I barely even scolded Charlie as he poked his head into my room and asked how I was doing. Fucking stupid question, considering the state I had been in when I'd arrived home.

Crying and shaking like some pussywhipped cunt. I hadn't even had the balls to suck it up enough to be able to drive myself home. Jake had to do it for me. Bastard. Both him and Edward...

But, before I had time to brood, there was another voice in my room. A high pitched, comforting voice. The voice of a friend.

"What did I say about getting your coat?" Her lips curved into a half smile as she threw my once concealed leather jacket over my head. "We're going out."

"Alice... how in the hell...?"

"Don't ask. Just do."

Her request seemed good enough to me. I'd done enough asking questions and thinking for one day. Now I was going to let her lead. No matter what fucked up shit we got into, I was more than willing just to forget about life and all the crap it brought with it.

I followed her down the stairs and to an ostentatious red Mercedes that would break the banks of every fucker in Forks, even with combined paychecks. But my mind wasn't sane enough to give a shit. Zombie being the key word to describe how freaking useless I was acting. Mind you, rotting flesh probably would have been better company.

The engine growled to life beneath Alice's delicate fingertips, and soon we were zooming away from my house. The whole town becoming very small, very quickly. If I had been paying attention I might have had time to crap my pants, but the only thing I could even focus on was my hands. Fucking twitching, even though I was trying so damn hard to keep them still.

How do I fix all this shit?

I stared out of the window as I contemplated my epic question and wondered how I came to be such a bitch. I could have gone on for hours, if Alice hadn't bloody interrupted me.

"What do you mean, Bella?"

"Huh?"

"You just said something, muttering to yourself I guess, but I just want to understand you. I want to help." Her cold hand was suddenly patting my knee as I was swept away by confusion.

"I didn't fucking say anything..."

"Yes, you said... 'How do I fix all this shit'."

"Oh." Balls. I didn't realise I'd spoken aloud. So I admitted it. "I meant to think that question."

"Come on, Bella. I told you that you could rely on me and I meant it. You can talk to me about anything you have going on, no matter how much your mind is telling you to keep it all bottled up. Seriously, you can tell me whatever you like."

"The problem is..." I sucked in a deep breath before I shattered her illusions. "I've heard that shit before and it didn't turn out so well for me."

"What happened?"

"Renee." I spat, before my mind filter kicked in. Letting me down as per fucking usual.

"Who's that?" Alice's prying was getting a little personal for my liking.

"My mother." I answered instinctively. "But this crap fest is getting too deep to wade through. Let's focus on something else first."

"Sure. There is something I wanted to know..."

"No surprise there, then." I grinned at her.

"What happened with Jacob and Edward?"

"Ah, fuck, Alice. You couldn't have picked an easier question, could you? Like my opinion on American political policies and my view on the current war?"

Alice laughed away as I huffed to myself, knowing that there was no escaping the conversation. I had to relive it, for the only person I would ever consider trusting. But there was a niggling feeling in the back of my mind that was starting to bug the shit out of me.

"Hey, Alice?"

"Yeah?"

"I didn't tell you that I had an argument with Jake... I never even mentioned that the bastard was there. Actually, I've never spoken to you about him; or any of the insane bollocks that's gone down with us over the years."

"Ah." Alice muttered to herself while her white fingers became even paler as she gripped at the fucking steering wheel. She was hiding something.

"How did you know?"

"Okay, look." She had turned her whole body to face me, ignoring the freaking road completely. Before I had time to have a panic attack and let a scream come out of a mouth that was obviously hanging wide open, Alice glanced back at the road and repositioned herself slightly. "I want to make a deal with you..."

"Can this deal involve you keeping your pretty little eyes on the road and not getting me squashed like a fucking frog on a freeway?"

"Sure." Alice laughed and relaxed back into her seat. "You tell me about the argument, show me that you trust me, then I'll do the same. I'll show you how much I trust you by letting you in on a little secret of my own."

I was intrigued. I loved secrets. And it seemed that I loved the company Alice was presenting to me, as the idea of a friend didn't make me fully suicidal. It did only if I imagined being cosy with any of the bitches in Forks. Alice was... different. I could totally see myself not hating her.

"You, my little annoying friend, have yourself a deal."

So, I launched into the tale. It wasn't happy, it didn't have a resolution at the end, and it involved an awful load of embarrassing moments that made me feel like an asshole; but I still told her everything.

From the moment my heart jumped into my throat as soon as Edward had entered Jake's small bedroom, to the very end when they had both decided they were better off without me.

Not that I could blame them... well, I could... but I sort of knew they were right.

I was a bitch, as they had both repeated numerous times, and their friendship was more important than some fucked up chick like me.

As I told Alice the end; about me breaking down like a twat and not being able to breathe properly, after the insults from Jacob had gotten too much to bear, while Edward looked on at me in contempt; her arms engulfed me with their coolness.

I noticed that she had pulled onto the hard shoulder just before I broke into tears once more.

Sniffing into her shoulder wasn't the correct time to be making threats, and yet I still found myself doing it.

"If you tell anyone that I cried over some loser bastards, I will never forgive you. I may even kill you, depending on who you tell."

"Aww, Bella," she laughed as she began to stroke my hair. "You act all tough, but I don't believe you for a second. The main reason being that I know I'm never going to tell anyone."

"Thanks," I sniffed, suddenly very aware how much of a fucking sap I was acting. I pulled myself back from Alice quickly as I looked into her eyes.

"You love him, don't you?" I heard her ask so bloody quietly.

"Which one?"

"Both of them."

I lowered my head at her answer, feeling ashamed but knowing she was right.

I did love Jacob Black. He was my very best friend, with me through thick and thin, my shoulder to cry on or punch depending on my mood. If I had never met Edward, a part of me did wonder where my relationship with my very own dickhead would have ended up. Even though it was a very small, minute part, it was still there in the back of my mind.

As for Edward. Edward Masen. My mind screamed that it was too fucking early to tell if I loved him or not, while my heart raged back with a 'why the hell not' argument. I was unable, maybe slightly unwilling, to admit what a strong effect the bastard had on me in the short time of knowing each other; though deep, deep, down I knew guys like him didn't come around very often. I also knew that the feelings I had for the prick were none I'd ever experienced, and would probably never experience for the rest of my fucked up existence.

How had my life gotten so much more complicated than it already was? How was it even possible for more shit to hit the fan?

"How would you feel about a road trip?" I wouldn't have even known my head had fallen into my fucking hands if her voice hadn't been all muffled. All of a sudden, through the gaps in my fingers I could see a shit eating grin spread across Alice's face.

The car had yet to start up again, so I was freaking unfortunate enough to have the full focus of Alice and her question. It hadn't really dawned on me what she had been asking for a few minutes.

To leave Forks, or not to leave Forks; that was the question.

When I finally realised what she was asking me, which embarrassingly took too much time for the secret retard inside me, I knew how to answer instantly.

"Why the fuck not." I answered as I let the grin spread across my face.

"I hoped you would say that." Alice returned my grin as she turned her attention back to the road and the engine was woken up once more with a rumble.

The car was spun around quickly in a neat U-turn and we began speeding in the opposite direction. I had no clue where the hell we were going, but I didn't fucking care. All I wanted to do was get as far away from my problems as was damn possible.

Things started to get familiar. We were headed back into Forks. What? That couldn't be fucking right. Alice had mentioned a road trip, not a bloody intervention. Where in the name of all that was sane was she planning on taking me?

"Alice? What the fuck? This is the lamest road trip I've ever been freaking invited on."

"Bella!" Alice laughed my name as if it were the best joke she knew.

"What's going on, bitch?" I interrupted her little outburst.

"If you'd let me finish, jeez," Alice's laugh tinkled once more. "Don't get so antsy! We just have to pick up something first."

Outside the car, everything was starting to get really familiar. I'd only been there once, but I had made the mental note to remember every little detail. Back before crap got too complicated; but after what I thought had been enough fucked up shit.

"What are we getting?" I furrowed my brow at her, while she maneuvered the car easily down a mostly hidden road.

"My family."

"And, why the hell are we doing that?"

"They're coming with us is all."

"Alice," I sighed. Trying to ease my frustration without having to resort to physical fucking violence. "Where exactly are you taking me on this freaking road trip?"

"Ever wanted to look at colleges?"

"Only my entire fucking life."

"Well, you're in luck. We're hopefully going to visit ten colleges in the next two weeks. The chief of police surely couldn't object to that, could he?" An evil little smile was shot in my direction.

"Like he has a choice." I smiled back. "Anyway, all the kids at the Rez high are getting a week off next week. I'll hardly miss any school. Charlie will jump for fucking joy."

As Alice pulled onto the driveway of her adoptive father's mansion, I realised how lucky I had been to fall in with such rich bastards. Then, a more important thought outweighed my greed.

"Isn't there something you were going to share with me? You sneaky fucker."

"Shit." Alice muttered.

"Did you just swear?" I was couldn't help laughing my ass off. Face creased, shoulders doubled over, stomach cramping laughter. Something that I hadn't experienced in a very long time.

"You must be a worse influence than I first thought." Alice tutted, arms folded. Causing me to laugh even harder.

"Of course... I'm a... bad... influence..." I snorted, ungracefully. "But that doesn't mean you're getting out of this, oh annoying one." I reprimanded her as I tried desperately to keep my face bloody straight.

"You will think I'm crazy..."

"I already do." I winked. " Now, tell me your little secret." It came out of my mouth as a whisper. I didn't mean to seem like I was taking the piss, but it seemed to come off that way.

"If you make fun, I won't even bother."

"Hey, hey! Don't get all pissy!" I wished I could have eaten my words, or at least thought them through before they had offended her. "I didn't mean to be all bitchy about it. Honest."

"Okay, but... you're still going to think I'm crazy."

"Well then, we must be fucking perfect for each other. Hello? Have we met? I'm the textbook definition of crazy. Just get to it!"

"Basically," Alice sighed, "I'm kind of psychic."

"Psychic as in how?" I raised my eyebrow, wondering if she was now deliberately trying to throw me off the trail of the real secret she had wanted to share.

"As in, I get these sort of visions. They are only based on what paths people chose to take, and can change as soon as a person changes their mind. But, well, I saw that Jacob and Edward were planning on having it out with you..."

"You had a vision that the bastards were going to ambush me like that?"

"Yeah. As soon as Jacob decided to call Edward, when he had put you in his car to take you to his, I saw the fight. But, well, it was kind of blurry."

"And, blurry isn't normal?" I tried to keep my tone normal.

"No, usually when someone has decided it's pretty clear. But, as soon as you went into the Reservation, my vision got all blurry and I could only make out little snippets."

"Like some fuck was blocking your antenna?"

"I guess you could put it that way."

"Are you fucking with me?" I couldn't help but ask.

"No."

Funnily enough, I believed her. There was not a hint of amusement in her eyes as she stared at me, deadly freaking serious, waiting for her news to sink in.

It was then I was sure that she wasn't dicking about. Alice didn't have it in her to be a lying cow like me. It was natural, the bitch inside that whispered lies right into my brain and leaked them through my mouth without me realising; but there was not a hint of bitch about Alice. That was why I liked her so much. She was straight up. She wasn't fucking kidding.

"So, you had any more of these visions about me?"

"You believe me?" Alice seemed uncertain.

"I'm not that much of a prick, am I? I actually do believe you. Why would you lie? So, tell me, you had any of these visions about me before?"

"Yes." She murmured as her eyes fell to her lap.

"What's that?"

"What?"

"You getting all fucking nervous and shit. What's all that about?"

"I'd rather not say..."

"Well now you bloody have to!"

"I saw you..." she took a deep breath, "have sex with Jacob."

Oh. Holy. Fuck.

Now I really did believe her. No one but me, Jacob and Edward knew about that specific detail. I had purposely left it out of every previous conversation with Alice in the hope that it would be less real. The whole 'ignore it and it goes away' theory.

"Fuck." I rubbed at my temple. "I guess you've known all along why my life is so messed up."

"When it comes to the guys, yes. With regards to everything else that is mental about you, I guess I'm still waiting on that update." Alice tapped her forehead and smiled weakly.

"Seen anything less mentally scarring about me then?" I tried to change her focus.

"I knew we were going to be friends." She grinned.

"That makes sense." I remembered back to her puzzling message the first day I'd met her. "Are you always fucking cryptic with people who don't know your secret? People who you see in your little visions?"

"It's part of my charm." A laugh trilled once more, tension obviously eased. I was a superhero. A bloody God. My powers of topic changes were unbeatable.

"So, let's get this show on the road."

"It's about time you met the rest of my family." Alice grinned as she hopped out of the car and towards the front door. "Aren't you coming?" She called playfully.

"You bastard! Don't leave me! I can't help it that I'm slow, it minimizes the clumsy. It's better for humanity that I move as slowly as possible at all fucking times."

"But at least try and make it into my house before I turn to dust!"

"How can so much annoying potential be crammed into such a little package?" I asked as I reached the door.

"Another part of all the charm I have inside. And there's lots left to discover," she grinned as she grabbed my arm and led me through the front door.

I was led into a part of the house I hadn't seen on my last visit. It took me a while, but I soon realised the enormous space was actually a kitchen. It took even longer for me to notice the group of freaking people staring at me in the distance.

"Bella!" A booming voice called from the far side of the room. The person almost caught up to their own voice as they ran towards me. Emmett. Fuck. He was even hotter the second time around.

"Hey, big guy. How's shit?" I murmured into his shoulder as he grabbed me and held me in a bear hug. Not that I was complaining...

"It's good." He pulled his head back and grinned a fucktastic grin. "But, maybe you could swear a bit less when you're around my parents."

"Fuck, dick, wanking, bollocks." Emmett looked at me in confusion. "I'm just getting it out of my system." I explained slowly.

"Sounds like a plan." Emmett laughed a booming laugh as he grabbed my hand and pulled me away from Alice's safety net.

"This is Esme." A whisper told me. Alice. She had followed us across the kitchen. Thank fuck.

"Hello, Esme." I held out a hand for her to shake, but was taken in another hug. Christ, this family was a lot more intimate than I was used to.

"It's very nice to meet you." Esme smiled and patted my shoulder. Immediately, I wished she were my mother; instead of the bitch from hell I'd been landed with.

"This is Carlisle."

"Hi, Carlise." This time, my offered hand was taken as I tried not to think dirty thoughts about the sexy as fuck Dr. Cullen that stood in front of me. I bet he was one to make all the nurses scream...

"And this is Rosalie." Emmett's booming voice snapped me out of my very vivid daydream. Lucky. Otherwise some graphic noises could have made things a lot more freaking awkward.

"Hey." I eyed up the tall blonde as I held out my hand once more. She took it gently, like I was offering her shit, and dropped it after barely a second.

Pretty as she was, I knew this was going to be the bitch to win over. Queen fucking bee, and I'd just disturbed her nest. Well, prissy miss... let the fireworks commence...


	12. Butterflies and Hurricanes

_Dreaming of you, my needing of you. _

_Desperately believing what we have is true. _

_Too short a time was spent knowing, _

_When we didn't realise what was growing between us. _

_All I see in my mind is a vision of you that last day. _

_The time when I broke your heart in such a cruel way. _

_Mindless fucking overpowering what was loving. _

_Something that was special and true, a future envisioned with you. _

_All shattered. Broken. _

_Destroyed by what I've done. _

_I may not have known you when you were wronged, but I should have waited for something that was right. _

_Not him. Not that night. _

_Grabbing, pushing, pulsing, groaning. _

All his thrusting and my moaning…

I scribbled the words out from the back of the notebook I'd found in my overnight bag. I hadn't written poetry for at least a year, and now was a shit time to start up again. It had gotten me through some fuck awful days, like back when my impostor mother had started acting funny and I knew something wasn't right. But writing now, when I had barely enough room in my head to think on a freaking normal day, would turn all the crap into dust which I could never salvage from the wreckage.

Shit.

Writing always made me think deep. I hated thinking deep. Hated having to analyse things that had gone wrong. I mean, it had already happened. What was the point in fucking with my own head? Making me relive shit I had trouble surviving through the first time.

I knew what had happened. Knew every tiny detail of all the mistakes I'd made.

I couldn't think on it now. Not in the darkness on the first night of my road trip with Alice. Who was in the next room, probably already awake after all my bastard snivelling. I was such a child. Crying over things that couldn't be changed.

Life moves on. I have to move on. No sense in worrying about the one night that demolished my future with someone, the only one, I could let accept me. True love is for kids reading fairy tales, not knowing that the world outside their bedroom is waiting for the first opportunity to fuck them over. I didn't believe in that shit. I had never believed.

So, why did this hurt so goddamned much?

But it wasn't just the shame and embarrassment. No. The burning, aching, throbbing of my heart caused me more pain than anything I had ever felt. It felt worse than anything I could imagine in the entire world.

It was like I was broken.

My heart, giving up, knowing it had nothing left to live for…

Though that wasn't true, I had to keep reminding myself. I'd had a life before and I would have a life after. No sense ruining myself over two meaningless dicks. They couldn't break me like this, I wouldn't let them.

The more times I repeated to myself how worthless they were, the harder it became to believe. I knew, deep down, that these guys meant fucking everything to me. If they had let me… I would have made them both my world. Not in the same way, as the feelings I had for each were different, but one was not less important than the other.

"Hey…" the voice sounded uncertain.

Damn bitch. Caught me off guard. Didn't even bother to knock…

Before I could continue the tirade on Alice's interruption in my mind, I realised my face was more than likely streaked with betraying tears. Bastards. Letting on that I am a slave to my fucking emotions…

I shoved my head quickly under the duvet, but not quickly enough. She knew I was awake. Of course she did. Nosey prick. Probably listening in on my self-pity.

Though I couldn't hate her. If anything, I needed this. Just one person in my life who gave a flying fuck about me.

"You okay, Bella?" Her soothing voice calmed my tears as I felt her slight weight press down on the edge of my bed.

I poked my face out from the covers and saw her sitting next to me, face the mask of concern. But I didn't want that. Concern and pity went hand in hand, as far as I remembered.

Wiping my mess with the back of my hand, I forced a smile onto my face.

"Alright, Alice?" I hadn't meant it to come out so croaky. Bloody emotions cracking my voice.

"I'm fine, how are you?" She put a steadying hand on my shoulder. Almost seeming afraid that I would burst into tears at any given moment.

I wasn't fucking having this.

"Alice, yes, I've been crying. That much is fucking clear. But would you please shove your pity up your ass and let me deal in my own way, yeah? I know you're my friend, and I'm sure you're used to giving out sympathy – but that shit don't fly with me. I'm not someone you need to pussyfoot around. I will not break."

My words lied. I couldn't help them. Once they had started to flow, I had no freaking control. I inwardly laughed at myself for all that crap. I mean, it had used to be true; but now, after all this, I wasn't so sure anymore.

Especially the last sentence.

It certainly felt like I was going to fucking break. At any fucking moment. A part of me thought that I already was…

"Okay, Bella."

Her brightness shone through the dark in my mind, impeding all further thought. Even without her pissing powerful smile, I could feel the positivity rolling off her in waves. It was infectious. Though, I hadn't decided whether that was a good or a bad thing.

"So," I forced a smile in return. "Why the social call?"

"Oh!" She jumped up and down from her spot on my bed. "Carlisle and Esme wanted me to get you. You have to go and eat your breakfast so we can move! We're off to California!"

Sunny, funny, Cali.

Sex, drugs, and plenty of miles between me and all of my problems.

"Well then, little one, I better get up and get fucking dressed!"

She grabbed my arms as I stood and spun me around in a circle. I had to shake the blurriness from my spinning eyes before I could focus on grinning at the annoying bastard.

This girl may even turn out to be good for me…

Is that fucking likely?

I wanted to scoff inwardly, but somehow couldn't find the urge. Maybe I was changing. Maybe I was maturing. Maybe I was looking for anything to replace the black hole void in my heart… and Alice's ray of sunshine was doing the job just bloody fine.


	13. Calling Out

**A/N:**

**I know, I know… It really has been too long, sports fans. Or something like that. You yanks know the lingo better than little ol' me **

**I really hope you like this instalment. It does introduce some new elements to the story that I've been dying to write into it for such a long time! Plus, we get to see some Edward… Yay!**

**I've probably said before that my updates will be more regular (yada yada yada), but this time I really mean it. I've had an epiphany that I want to follow. The significance of that sentence will become apparent at the end.**

**Anyway, for those still with me – I do love you! For any news ones – hey, I hope you like. And for anyone who actually bothers to read the authors notes, I'm sorry for taking up precious reading space. I will stop rambling… now.**

**Enjoy.**

_**S.M. owns all Twilight shizzle. This is just a different kind of ride.**_

Bella POV

Cali wasn't all it was cracked up to be. Sure, I loved the beaches, and the sun reminded me of the only fucking decent time I could remember with Renee. The college was good, even if the Cullens did prefer the evening talks and night tours. Alice and me even got the chance to get a little drunk in some of the freaking awesome clubs, though god knows how that cunning bitch got fake ID's without me knowing.

Shit was weird, though.

It didn't feel right without the trees of Forks… fuck, was I getting attached?

I had barely thought of… those bastards… Alice and her family were good at keeping me occupied. They were all so nice. It was like something out of the twilight zone that I so wasn't used to. All except the obvious bitchy one, I felt welcomed.

Rosalie still ignored me as much as bloody possible and showed me her disdain when she couldn't be fucked to hide it anymore, but if anything that just kept me amused. Messing with Queen Bee certainly had its perks; the main one being the sexy ass laugh I loved, and she fucking hated, from Emmett.

But nothing could beat my time with the annoying one. She was like the sister I had never wanted, though she could take the place of the fucking psychopath I had been lumbered with any day of the week.

She told me stories of her man, and how he pissed her around with his mood swings. He sounded worse than a freaking girl, though she did say he could read her better than anyone and she wouldn't trade him for all the one night stands in the world. In some ways, I was jealous of Alice's relationship; but I didn't think on it too much. It really helped that her Jasper hadn't been fucking bothered enough about his education to come with us… a little part of me warmed to him when she had said this. Fuck, you gotta love the apathetic bad guys…

Our time together, though, was too short. When Carlisle and Esme told us we were returning to Forks in two days, I kind of wanted to punch something. More than a lot of me wanted to pummel the dickhead who was forcing me back there… again. My heart couldn't find the nerve to pick a fight with the Cullens, though. They had treated me like they actually wanted me. I wasn't sure how to deal with that shit. Plus, Carlisle didn't have the stature of a bodybuilder; but I was sure he could cut me down in an instant… and I liked that…

Unfortunately, Forks beckoned.

I had to return to all the fuckers I had tried to run from, and deal with all the bollocks I had tried to bury.

This wasn't going to go well, of that I was fucking certain.

"Aw, c'mon Alice. You may as well have thrown me out at full speed on the highway…"

"This is your home, Bella."

But I wasn't listening, instead intent on continuing my 'positive parade'. "Or left me at the hands of some hitchhiking motherfucker with a big rusty blade."

"Isabella…"

You what? The soon-to-be late Alice Cullen certainly knew how to get a girl's attention.

"Oh hell no. I did not just hear you say that. What did I ask you to never fucking call me?" I got out of the car. Pressed my hands to my temples. "Shit, man."

She was behind me in no time, a hand on my shoulder. I shrugged her off before I had time to think, or physically react. Because I was really close to freaking out.

"What's wrong with you?" I heard a more accusing tone than I'm sure she used, but I couldn't help it. I wasn't in the right bloody head-space.

My fists started to tremble.

Fuck. This had happened before. Whenever I got too angry, anytime someone pissed me off, I would start to shake then kick off. Though some part of me knew I didn't want this to happen around Alice. A very deep part, currently hidden by my primal desire to destroy. She was a royal pain in my ass, but so didn't deserve the smack down that was coming.

"Alice… just…. drop it!" I growled.

She didn't listen. Why didn't she fucking listen?

She took a step forward.

I took off into the woods, running as fast as my body would allow.

All I prayed was that she didn't follow. If she knew what was good for her, she wouldn't come after me…

The trees were becoming dense. Surrounding me, caging me in. I could feel my breathing getting heavier, but there was nothing I could do to stop it. I dropped to my knees and pressed my head to the ground. Pictures of someone I really didn't want to see were swirling behind my lids. All the stuff I had tried to block out since leaving her.

Renee.

The only person who had ever called me by my full name.

It had always annoyed the hell out of me, but I took it like the good daughter I was supposed to be. I mean, no one tells their mom what to do, right? So, I let her use my full name. Thinking it was the one she had given me.

I didn't know I was screaming until I had to stop and catch my breath.

Maybe this whole 'learning the truth' thing was harder than I was letting on. Inside, I was fucking hurting. Worse than anything, especially because it couldn't be fixed. Sure, I'd had scraped knees and broken bones… but they could all be remedied with kisses and soft words, as well as a few days or weeks for the physical remnants to disappear.

This wasn't physical.

What was going down now was so buried in emotional crap that I felt stifled, smothered, suffocated by everything that surrounded me. All the lies that had built the foundation of my screwed up life were starting to crumble. I was on shaky ground, that much was fucking clear.

But why had I made things so much worse for myself?

Ever since moving back, I had taken one wrong turn after another. Ruining the only stable pieces left. Hurting those that I really loved.

I wanted to be better to Charlie. I wanted to make up with Jake. I wanted to stop fucking up and saying the wrong thing to people, like Alice, who were only trying to help. I wanted to learn how to control myself and open up more. Most of all, I wanted to try and salvage any form of relationship that could be left with Edward.

All the wants piled up, on top of one another, surrounding me with mistakes I had to mend. It just showed me how much of a useless bitch I had been.

Renee had been right when she had said she was glad I wasn't part of her gene pool. If I were her, I'd be glad to have gotten rid of a waste of space like me…

No.

I looked up, wiped the tears from my face with grubby hands, then pushed myself to my feet.

I couldn't let my head start thinking that way. People get themselves into bad places when they let their fucked up negativities take over. I had to be strong. I had to put things right.

With that in mind, I strode out of the forest… and almost walked into a scared looking Alice.

"Oh, uhm… hey." She didn't take her eyes from her shoes as she spoke.

"Hey, Alice." I reached out to put a hand on her shoulder, but thought better of it. I didn't want her freaking out at my touch. That would make me feel so damn bad.

"I'm sorry." Instead, I settled with a smile and an apology.

"It's…" she looked up now, as if to double check I wasn't messing with her. "It's okay." A swear I heard her breathe a sigh of relief.

"God, Alice. If I live even two lifetimes I will not make up for all the shit I've caused. Man…"

There were no words. There were just arms. Small, but powerful, arms enveloped me. I hadn't even known I was shivering until she started mumbling soothing nothings into my ear. This time, I would let it slide. Fuck knows I had to be more patient. I couldn't let my anger control me.

"What time is it?" I had to speak, otherwise the build up in my throat would get too tight and I would more than likely end up crying.

"Just after seven."

I looked up to see the setting sun just behind my house. I didn't have any time to loose.

"Alice, thanks. Again, words can't express how deeply fucking sorry I am… but I guess I'm still working through some crap right now. That doesn't excuse it, though, and I am genuinely sorry."

"Really, it's okay. When you want to talk, you know where to find me." Our hug had ceased, so I could see her face as the grin spread wide across it. Sneaky bitch.

"I know. And, I don't want you to think I'm trying to get rid of you or anything, but there is something I have to do."

"What?" Curiosity twinkled behind her eyes, once more she came alive with the burning desire for knowledge. I couldn't repress my chuckle.

"There are some guys that also deserve my apologies, sooner rather than later."

"Oh," if possible, her grin got wider. "Call me…"

"When I'm done?" I cocked one eyebrow as I guessed her motive. "It's a no-brainer. I'll speak to you later… and make sure you thank your family for putting up with me and my dramas."

I waved her off until she got in her car, then headed back into the forest.

There wasn't much daylight left, but I was planning on making this a quick visit. I didn't pause to think of anything I might need if it got too dark, brains not being the obvious trait in my family, as I was too busy thinking what I could possibly say to Jake and Edward that would help them to forgive me.

The boundary between the Black residence and my own wasn't far. I puffed my fucking lungs to death and managed it in around fifteen minutes. Not a personal best, but I was trying damnit.

I saw it through the trees. My feet begged me to stop. I skidded to a halt, like the fucking coward I am. All my mind could scream was _'what are you thinking?'_. To which I had no answer.

Fuck!

Part of me was set on turning tail and running, while I hid my yellow belly in the slowly darkening undergrowth.

Another part, the louder one, the side that knew more swear words and threats, stayed firm. It wanted me to go through with this confrontation, as I loved them so much… obviously.

I was torn.

So, I stayed stuck in exactly the same fucking place. Neither coming nor going.

People had epiphanies for a reason… right?

I didn't know how long I'd been standing still before I had this moment of blinding realisation. All I did know was that it had become considerably darker… and I was looking considerably more stalkerish by the second.

Onwards and fucking upwards, the louder part of my mind demanded. It was then that I finally moved.

The house loomed ever closer, which was not a good thing bearing in mind the memories it brought with it of the last time I had been inside. Still, I tried not to think of the crushing heartbreak and total humiliation I'd faced… Well, tried… That doesn't mean I was very successful.

Having to go in, for another conversation, weighed heavily on me with each determined step I took. I didn't want to relive that crapfest.

Though all my worrying was over, when I realised I didn't have to go inside after all.

On the front steps of the porch, head in his hands, sat Edward. Beautiful even in what seemed to be defeat. What the hell had happened since I had been away to make him look this haunted?

Before he looked up, saw me, and soiled himself thinking I had been watching him… I cleared my throat and walked slowly over.

"Hey." I practically whispered as he brought his head up to stare at me.

He said nothing. Even his green eyes held no sparkle. Blank, solemn orbs shone out from the gloom but said nothing. It was scary. It wasn't like the Edward I had come to know… even in such a brief time.

Had I done this?

"How… uhm, how's things?" I stood awkwardly in front of him. Should I sit? Comfort him? My body stayed inert as my mind had another one of its battles.

"Where have you been?"

Shit, even his voice was hollow. It was like all the emotion, life, had been drained out of him. I didn't fail to notice he hadn't answered my question, but that wasn't important.

"Away looking at some colleges." I wanted to make him happy, to give him anything he fucking desired. Right now, he was asking questions. So I was damn sure going to answer them.

"Don't you have enough decency to return someone's calls?" His voice took on a sharp edge, the only hint of a personality I'd seen in the last few minutes.

"What calls? I don't know what you're…"

"Sure you do." He bit again. "What? We embarrassed poor, innocent Bella… now she won't even bother to be around when her best friend needs her. You're a bigger waste of space than I thought."

His words hurt. They cut worse than any knife. It pierced me, deep down, and I knew I would be healing from the bastard's words for a long time to come. He didn't even have the fucking balls to believe me.

What had started out as something hopeful, was about to get ugly.

"Who the fuck do you think you are?" I snarled. "If I said I don't know, it means I don't know. You're acting like you know me, like your wounding my scanty amount of pride would make me think differently of those I care about. Well screw you. If you'd asked me to jump, I would have answered how fucking high. Then, and now. So don't you go all morose and assuming I know what the hell is wrong when, clearly, I have no clue what you are talking about."

I clenched my teeth to stop from saying anything else. What I had already said was too much, I just hoped I hadn't ruined my chances of reconciliation.

While I was busy in my own head, I didn't notice that Edward had slumped in on himself. When I looked up and noticed, the inner battle in my head was done and I was by his side in a second.

I put my arm around his shoulders and brought his head to rest under my chin.

"You need to tell me what's happening."

"It's Billy." He started to cry, trying to curl himself into a ball and managing to take me part of the way with him.

"What's wrong with Billy?" I could only assume the worst as I tried to bring Edward closer.

"About a week ago… in the forest… he got…" Edward took a shuddering breath. "Attacked."

"Holy fuck. Are you kidding?" I lifted Edward's chin to look at me. "Tell me you're kidding."

All he did was shake his head in return.

I suddenly couldn't breathe properly, Billy was always so careful… and damn good with a gun. There was very little that could take a man like him by surprise. Trying to steady myself, needing to be strong for Edward, I took some calming breaths and stroked his dishevelled hair.

"How's he doing? Where's Jake?"

Edward looked up at me then, tears shining in his eyes but dry on his cheeks. "That's why I was so mad."

He touched my cheek. I tried to stop my stomach from doing somersaults at a fuck-awful time like this, but I couldn't help it. Edward still had some powerful hold on me.

"Why were you mad?" My heart fluttered as his hand stroked my jawline.

"Billy's in the hospital, under observation. The bear attack was pretty brutal. Jake and I, we've been trying to call you. To get you to come back. To make things right. Charlie said he would get the messages to you… but we didn't hear anything."

"Oh. I never…"

"I get that now." He smiled sadly at me.

"You still didn't tell me where Jake was."

"He… he thought you hated him, and he wasn't coming to terms with Billy's accident very well. He was pretty shaken up. When you still didn't come after a week… he ran. I haven't seen him for three days."

Edward and I held each other, no more words could follow.

His tears had been replaced by mine. I felt him stroking my hair, returning my earlier favour, but it was no use.

I didn't know what he was thinking… but I only had one thought swirling round my fucking head.

How, even when I wasn't even here, could I fuck up everybody's lives so badly?


End file.
